Thursday, February 26, 2009

grandma knows best??

can u tell me why my grandmother insists on telling me everytime someone over the age of 21 has a kid or anyone over the age of 30 is looking for a husband my granny proceeds to tell me "see there is someone out there still looking as well". (as in the 'see you are not alone' in your looking process) & 'see this here proves there are no good men out there.'

She then proceeds to point out various articles underlining these major points:
  • it is hard to find a decent straight god fearing man in this world
  • it is hard to have a truly committed relationship in this time
  • that i should look outside the box is the norm (like internet dating/ other various online sites)
  • and it it increasingly harder as you get either up there in age/education/ economic status or weight (i just threw that in there on good measure)
soo what do you think?
it it true?
do i have to have a certain quality of 'lesser' to be good enough to get a man?
do i have to sacrifice my intelligence or my thirst for adventure in the most non adventurous ways or my youth or comfortability or my witty banter-self reliant (to a point)- accomplishments to snag said dude in this world?
i am thoroughly confused by this.
fast forward to this site this ingenious woman set up called '52weeks'... she is putting it all out there big time- with a time limit on how long she is giving herself to find someone (lover? companion?? beau? paramour!)
i don't know ... but at what point does one cut their losses? settles for this ___ ...this life, or existence rather... cut and run? i dunno.

Addendum to dating

This is what's out there for dating:

*******************************************************************
http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/stp/1050255561.html

Bored 30 yr old with too much time on his hands, seeks an evil villain to give his life an extra edge and flavor.

For the short (and possible long) term, I need somebody to be my nemesis and be an evil villain in my life. Please nothing crazy, but little things such as pouring ink into my laundry load, leaving nasty notes, hacking into my Facebook, knocking my coffee over, tripping me as I'm running to catch the subway, and sneaking up to me and evilly whispering "So we meet again, Mr. Brian!!!"

Please be full of mischief, cunning, possess the ability to laugh throatily like a supervillain (or giggle in a semi seductive evil way). Possession of accents a plus. The ability to stealth and organize a league of super villains also a plus. Having a small cat or dog to pet in your arms as you cackle maniacally, another plus. Please send me a photo and explanation as to why you would make a great villain in my life.

All genders, races, ages and species welcomed.
Except badgers. I am deathly afraid of badgers.




Location: NYC
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

'it's a _world afterall'

26-Feb-09
i am so tired of everyone saying 'it's such a small world' cause really
is it that such of a small world?
people talking about 6 degrees of separation/desperation/exasperation
and who knew who from the past et al.
you know what that means for me?
that means that either one of my family members
or friends KNOWS whomever will end up being my intended
(possibly with this being a small world and all)
and still i have not met him.
what is also saddening about this particular phenomenon is that
currently of the people i know + the people that they know i know + the people i have met
= zero chances in this love game.
someone need explain the rules to me cause i am loosing horribly.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

coffee thought...

yo can u tell me why this bitch think we at the copacababna on a crowded train to manhattan?? As I am on the #5 train in the tunnel she is trying to dance like she was doing the mambo on dancing with the stars? WTF this is unreal. I need a drink...STAT..
that's all...until you see me on the noontime news for smacking a hoe!

Monday, February 23, 2009

And the Oscar goes to...

Best picture of the year (in my humble opinion) & now the opinion of the members of the Academy...

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

this was a phenomenal film that was just beyond words.

and now to sleep...

Saturday, February 21, 2009

friendly advice...

In response to my 'no one loves me tirades"

"T" (11:22:34 AM): ooh i surely have no info on the speed dater. youdon't listen well
me (11:24:19 AM): yeah i do and no one wanted me apparently they send out these emails for you to log in and rate the event and see if anyone wantedyou. i rated the event & it was like "check your matches" guess what big fat zero
me (11:25:20 AM): so i am even being rejected by rejects
"T" (11:25:21 AM): well it aint like you wanted them either
me (11:25:30 AM): right... but i want to be wanted
"T" (11:25:34 AM): being rejected by rejects is great
"T" (11:25:44 AM): if the crazies want you that's not a good look
me (11:25:52 AM): since when is it great?
"T" (11:25:54 AM): that's like the devil saying he thinks you're a goodperson
me (11:26:00 AM): wow
"T" (11:26:33 AM): if somebody don't got the sense god gave them, i surely don't want them thinking we're compatible & you don't either
me (11:26:53 AM): i see your point

AND this is why i love my friends cause surely they keep my insaneness in check...

speed dating--- slow down

Last week (on Valentines Day) i went on some kind of journey into speed dating...
let me tell u something at 3 minutes per date with a total of 20 men it was hilarious to say the least. First off this place is an Irish Pub called the Wheeltapper Pub...somewhere adjacent to grand central...OK not bad with an Irish Pubby feel. I meet 2 of my partners in crime (C & K) and we are prepared for the...dates? if any of y'all have never gone 'speed dating' you sign up PAY $40 and commence to sitting at a table. Now the funny thing is C & I were the only persons of ethnic background so suffice it to say this was not out demographic...but hey in the spirit of not siting home alone we will just do it. the dating starts (dating is used in the loosest of terms here) as it is more like a fast pace 3 minute interview by multiple persons of varying degrees of sanity is more like it.

Well I met some interesting characters rather people whom are actively out in public on a daily basis AKA loose in society!! This one dude was like (after i asked what bought him out on a Saturday night 'cause i had to initiate conversation) responded "it was either this or staying home & masturbating" I mean WTF even if those were your options trust me when i tell ya i didn't need to know that.
Another character, who had the most obmoxious laugh on the planet said he was a pimp looking for some hoes, do I know any??? (seriously) NO, I replied, but i know someone who would slap him. (and they wonder why they are single..hell at this point i am beyond wondering why i am single as i swear them comments don't come out my mouth. maybe on paper..but never to no ones face)
There were a few gems in the group- a single dad who was taking care of his 2 kids (seemed OK) and the lone African American dude who had a sense of humor about the whole thing & genuinely seemed human enough to have a decent conversation with for 3 minutes. To even be there was eintirel a test of the sense of humor. [Side note, to complete the speed dating process one has to log back in and put in the dudes you were interested in to see if they 'match' you & then you get their email addy & then the rest is up to you and cupid & that little bit o'luck dude on the lotto commercials. Suffice it to say I matched no one- story of my life]
And finally there was this other dude who was Drunk. Really Drunk who just won a rugby tournament and decided to show up drunk to this event (cause who can pass up a winning team+ free drinks to celebrate+drinking on V-day). He was at least funny/honest and charismatic about the whole thing (maybe it was the booze).

Soo ladies out there just FYI speed dating was not for me,
but hey just like lotto you never know.

Friday, February 20, 2009

cookie monster??

sooo yeah why is this dude eating cookie dough on the train..
there are a few things wrong with this picture...
One- it is 8 am

Two- it is a dude.
Three- it is cookie dough.
& Finally- this is the public MTA not your freakin house !!!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

MTA= one stop shopping

did you know that on your daily commute on the MTA you can get everything u need:
  • from candy to save a kid off the street (or to send him & his basketball team to guam)
  • to a new and improved metrocard holder (what is new and improved about a piece of plastic..)
  • from bootleg prawn from a skeevy dude (yeah icky icky)
  • to a musical serenade by a mariachi band (i will NOT mention anything about the authentic mexican-ness and their working permit/green card status)
  • to 'saved' your soul by the train car preacher all between 125 & 86th street.
nyc is great

Friday, February 13, 2009

13 de friday

yes yes today is friday the 13th!! <--cue scary music and phobia's....

whoo hooo friday the 13th!
see previous post on the random craziness of "Friday the 13th"

today brings about a few GREAT thing (amazing, I know) It is amazing to me caus it is really it is all about perspective...

#1- Today is Mel's 34th birthday.(happy birthday to you/ happy birthday to you/ happy birthday dear melvin/happy birthday to you) ironically this is his first birthday without mom as she was here last year to wish him a happy day...this was the day she was officially diagnosed last year. sucks to be mindful of this; but on to happier thoughts.. last night we had CG and had some cheesecake to celebrate the joyousness of it all & Mike got Mel a present...the 'Ove' glove. NO self respecting chef travels without one. [yo this has been a running joke between them for years and the look on Mel's face says it all]. Suffice it to say there will be pics to follow...

#2 i got the promotion. yes i am entirely excited (MANAGER NOW) as this is the same job that i was denied for a few months ago. (i think what is yours really is yours, no? YES) i mean does this stop my progress?? OH NO, no as this is just a stepping stone to my final destination. but beyond that i mean i get an office, i have to effectively manage folks. i have to be creative (you think this works for me??)

#3 it is valentines weekend and while i am without love in the 'oh i want you to be mine' love sense i do have a great support of friends and family (so cupid is stupid! HA HA i can blame him, right?) i may go get a massage this weekend or a mani/pedi to make myself feel better

#4 i think i may be able to take a vacation this year (where?)to somewhere which would be fantabolous...




Tuesday, February 10, 2009

poem of the day

Confused

I am getting mixed signals and the messages aren’t so clear…
I am fearful of the reactions that will come if I just ask you what you want.

If I just ask you what you want
I can’t guarantee that I am that something
that something you will need.

Now
You should take this opportunity to recognize
that I am capable of making various dreams and fantasies
a fact instead of taking that wild guess.

And
Assuming instead of what you want how about I just give a little taste of it back.

Cause
I am competent of providing just the right amount
to make you not wander and fall &
I am proficient enough in my skills to have you wanting an encore of more and more.

But
through all this I am still confused.
Fearful I am not that one

See
I do recognize
'that look'
all by the way
you avoid my eyes

coffee thought...



"how many how many how many"
(partial lyric from boyz by M.I.A)
currently...it is a 2 cup a day habit.
Another 2 cups down!
that's all...

Monday, February 09, 2009

talk to me...

ok
AGAIN clearly i have that face of 'come talk to me & tell me all your issues' cause dude came over to talk to me on the train platform as he got off train & as i am waiting for #6.
convo went like this:
him: did u hear about Bloomberg's $1.00 a year scam?
Me: huh? (first mistake)
him: yeah how he says he makes $1.00 per year is a lie. just look at his net worth from when he took office until now. he makes six million a day. six. it is public knowledge and you look like you want to know.
Me: no response (this is where i start to get that glazed look on my face)
him: it would only take 1/15 of that for us to not get a fare hike. it is highway robbery! tell everyone you know.
(#6 train comes)
him yelling: think about it.
me shaking my head & hoping he does not hop in or on the tracks at this point...
never mind bloomy's stock investments which admittedly took a hit (whose didn't) but really he has his name on a freaking financial system. go figure.

Friday, February 06, 2009

coffee thought...


in an effort to SAVE money in this economy & still maintain a healthy sense of life for all those involved (see admitted habit of caffeine) i have indulged and purchased a mini 4-cup coffee maker for my desk at work. *side note do you know that the STANDARD cup of coffee according to some b^ll site is only a mere 5 oz?? gimmie a break* so we shall see how this all pans out.
cost of coffee maker- $9.99
cost of coffee- $7.99 (dunkin donuts)
Cost of creamer-$3.99 (french vanilla)
cost of sugar- $3.99= overall total cost of $26.00.
now if i drink a cup a day(at average of 1.50/cup) that means i have to drink 17 cups of this baby and i am GOOD!

so far had 2 cups!
i can do it! that's all...

Thursday, February 05, 2009

25 Random things about me...

if you know me (or have been reading this blog, or have ever met me etc) then you could probably come up with 25 or more Random Things About Me . Well i was 'tagged' on FB=facebook to list this randomness & pass it on. Now I consider myself a writer/ author/ and overall creative person, but it took me over 2 hours to come up with just 25 random things!!
*maybe i wasn't feeling that particularly creative that day or maybe I wanted to carefully craft a mega cool image of me- who knows* Now what is funny about this post that initially started on FB has exploded all over the place. *(see this NY Times article on this craze)
The amount of 'random' things that I have seen from my friends and their friends and the friends of their friends is amazing. Also, the stuff learned about them sometimes makes me think 'wow, a peek in their life' or 'wow kinda scary'.

SO you know you wanna know... here are my 25 random things... of course you will be finding out random things about me all over the place now!

1. I need new glasses because clearly my eyesight is going
2. I pray everyday- most times at least 3 times a day/night. I pray for all those I know, those I don’t know, my family, my friends & all the little boys and girls all over the world.
3. And even though I pray I have ‘issues’ with God, Our Creator, Heavenly Father, Spiritual Being…etc
4. I like/ want/ anticipate/and fear change all at the same time. I want change to happen, I am open to new experiences and the same time am fearful of too much change.
5. I love to drive & I will drive anywhere. I will attempt to drive anything and I will gladly be the designated driver on a long road trip or quick run. I want to ride a motorcycle but am fearful of the pavement.
6. I am caringly bossy/ direct/ blunt/ honest/ truthful to a fault- all at the same time.
7. I am a control freak. I need to be in control at all times- in control of my actions (of course), my work, my emotions, my words and quite possibly other people if they let me. In my attempt to be a perfect perfectionist this comes out as a humorous dominatrix.
8. I have 4 tattoos- one of which was drawn by my older brother that my brothers & I have.
9. I count the steps in my grandmothers building every time I go up & down as if they are going to change on me.
10. I always wanted a sister & am thankful that God has blessed me with some wonderful women in my lifetime I proudly call my sisters.
11. I cannot tolerate hypocrisy, or injustices or mistreatment of anyone (especially children) who cannot fight for them. Same goes for stupidity or lack of information-that is no excuse for some things that go on in this world. I will call you on it.
12. My mothers’ mother was my Nannie from Grenada. My ‘grandma’ is not really my blood-related grandmother (but she still loves me) & my granny from Bermuda bears a striking resemblance to my grandmother. I love/loved them all and they are such examples of positive wonderful women who have shaped my family and me.
13. My father was from Bermuda; no it is not in the Caribbean. Yes the sand is pink.
14. I write. A LOT. I write poetry & published a book of poems working on a 2nd book of poems and a fiction novel. Yeah, I try to be creative like.
15. I sleep on a twin bed. One day I will graduate to a big girl bed.
16. I went to a music & arts school (SASA) where I learned how to play the piano and viola & got to sing in the choir. We put on concerts every Christmas & Spring time that were amazing. During that time I had the honor of meeting Leonard Bernstein, Bill Cosby & Wynton Marsalis; do jumping jacks in a yellow sweat suit on 60 minutes and sing on a RCA recording. All before I was 12 years old.
17. I considered myself a ‘daddy’s girl’ for the short time I knew him. He went on school trips with me & used to take all the kids on the block to the park so we can all run and play safely. He used to take us out on trips on his truck. What I love most was he used to sing & dance while cooking us dinner (which I thought was silly at the time but now think is endearing). I truly never got over his passing…
18. I cry every time I think of my mother. Everything still hurts. I aspire to be a fraction of the woman she was & to make her proud. I think of all the things we will not be able to do. My only solace is she is no longer in pain.
19. I am a great friend. I know this. I am empathic and able to connect with people's feelings. I listen a lot and am a fair and reasonable judge of character.
20. I love what I do. Kind of not to thrilled about my place of employment right this moment, but that changes with the season. I may like it tomorrow, we’ll see. I do know change is coming on this front as well…
21. I LOVE COFFEE and pancakes and chocolate. The perfect meal (anytime for me) chocolate chip pancakes with a good cup of coffee. When done right it is a tiny piece of heaven every time.
22. I feel I don’t know how to properly dress, apply makeup, walk in heels or be all around girly. I think I fake it well. Don’t burst my bubble if I don’t, but hey I am willing to admit I need help! Help a sister out!
23. I love to sing and dance. I put on amazingly spectacular concerts while I am driving anywhere. If you see me rocking out in my car, singing at the top of my lungs (perfect song is Stephanie Mills Home) kindly excuse the off key notes.
24. I want to get married and have 3+ children. I want to have love that is amazing and real and just moving with a truly good man. I am ready.
25. I love to travel and want to see London, Paris, Hawaii, Africa & India before I cease to exist.

Yeah i know..kind of cool huh? Am I anything like you expected or kind of like you imagined?

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

get it? now change.

i don't know where my head is at.
i keep trying to figure out my purpose and my what am i supposed to be doing.
i definitely need change.
i want more.
i applied for that manager position AGAIN but am also truly finally looking for more.
do I even want it?
i know i want something better.
i need a change.
and you know whats funny every time i talk to one of my coworkers 'C' she gets it... like i end up in tears cause she sees & hears & knows & understands and on top of that gives great advice.
(most current theme--> just do it.)
JUST DO IT...that was a saying i had at one time.
but did i ever just do it? it reminds me of fearless kids that just jump right in and worry about results and consequences after. someone once said that youth is wasted on the young. agreed.
i also feel that fearlessness is the same way.

i am working on being fearless in life and all my actions...
be patient... GOD is not thru with me yet.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

coffee thought...


is it me or is this the largest raisin bagel in the world?
accompaniment for the coffee...

that's all...

Monday, February 02, 2009

bee fruitful & X

I initially bought this orange in to eat

then i got this one today too..

i think the purpose is to ingest the fruit,
not make fruit boobs on my desk.
Tomorrow is another day...

coffee thought


today's ride on the mta involved a slightly claustrophobic and mildly unbalanced business man who was also a germaphobe where he didn't want to touch the pole (sometimes i understand his plight) but couldn't keep his balance to save a life. if you Mr scmub couldn't position yourself to the door (where at least your back could support you) then u needed to take a cab.
that's all...

Sunday, February 01, 2009

coffee thought...

there is a reason why i dont get my hair done often enough or whatever it is because the hour or so spent sitting in the dryer tends to make my mind idle. like for instance
why dont cowboys ride cows instead or horses? wouldnt that make them horseboys?
just random thoughts as the heat in this thing reaches a good 450 degrees and i am considered 'done'