Take a breath

Take a breath

One of the most annoying things in my world is when you think you are going to go to sleep and everything in the universe conspires against this notion. As if me without sleep is a productive pleasant member of society. Where?
This social experiment or whatsoever starts out by waking up at a decent hour (8am) on the weekend to not sleep in too late- this after going to bed at 3 am after a day of walking (14,000 steps y'all!), doing laundry (4 loads) and cleaning the bathroom from top to bottom and changing color schemes etc ... I wake up and make breakfast and wash dishes and clean out the freezer and trash old unidentifiable things. Next I do work on computer write a literary verse or three and make edits upon edits while watching Netflix (no chill) and chatting to various persons on the phone. Yay! While contemplating life and all the things that are happening and realizing all the things are happening just over there somewhere... I am here...
So laters in the fine evening, even tho I am tired about 8pm I clean some more and put away laundry and start to purge some clothes I will never return to, exfoliate and slap a calming face mask on and prepare for the work week. I sort some jewelry and feel adequately tired after washing said face mask off and feel that being in bed by 12:14 cause should give me a good amount of sleep for a 5am wake up and gym start time... What happens?
Can you tell me?
Well... It starts by my mind/ brain/ subconscious realizing that yup, she may need some rest as the body is beat and the soul is weary and the spirit is weakening but let she not rest because why must she get a chance to breathe.
Take a breath...
And so, as I recall all 7,951,023 things I said today, thought today, thought I said today, said my thoughts today
I realize I cannot find the sane reason
As to
Why I am blogging at 2:30 am and I am not asleep
I am truly fucked up
And
Considering the complicated math equation I am figuring out in my head involving how much sleep I would actually achieve if I fell asleep right this second it all equates to
Not. Enough.
It is all
Not. Enough.
There are truly not enough sheep to count to get me to sleep... And while we are at it... whose bright idea was it to count sheep? Aren't they loud and smelly and wooly and funky and baaaa'ing all the time? Not exactly relaxing and stuff.
Maybe I'll take a walk and count my lucky stars...
that's all...

Horoscope: Gemini: July 24th, 2016

You may be simply busying yourself for the sake of being busy today. Taking on an endless string of little tasks allows you to avoid thinking about what it is you want to do with your life right now. Possibly a break from deep thought is just what you need, but sooner or later you're going to have to make some changes in your life to achieve fulfillment. The sooner you think things out the better off you will be.

and that is my definition of being a procrastinator of the things I think I need to be doing in my life...
but mainly in thinking the thoughts and having the feelings that I am having.
sigh

Fwd: this pic

This pic is basically 

my work partnership or affiliation 

with my boss

we are working on strategic planning 

and apparently intently thinking about the issue

collaborative working at its best

(I probably was thinking when are they going to open the bar for the open bar) 

but I digress...

 

How many?

How many?

I am not sure how many lives have to be lost
How many black men have to be murdered
How many children are left fatherless
How many mothers have to bury their sons
How many wives become widows
How many sisters lose brothers
How many brothers lose brothers
How many hashtags created
How many times you have to witness injustice right in front of you
How many times you have to witness murders of black human beings caught on tape
Before you decide...Before this world decides
Enough is enough
Actually
This is too much
This isn't right
This isn't justice
Why are 'they' killing just us?
I am not sure how many words
Because there are not enough words
To ease the pain
or provide any sort of comfort or solace
Because there is no way to explain
Your existence...
It is invaluable
But yet in you 'they' see no value
How many times
Must these actions be protested
Must we see these images seared into our minds
Branding our spirits with the consciousness of our skin color
Vile Images of lives lost because of
What?
A cd?
A taillight?
A bag of skittles?
A cigarette?
A breath?
How many times must this world
Mock the melanin I am in while coveting that very same skin?
I am not sure how many lives have to be lost
How many black men have to be murdered
How many children are left fatherless
How many mothers have to bury their sons
How many wives become widows
How many sisters lose brothers
How many brothers lose brothers
How many more hashtags have to be created
Before it is enough
Before it is too much
Before we loose count
Before we loose our humanity
Before we loose our breath
How many breaths do we have left to loose?
How many lives....