Random Thought @ 3:11 am

when you can't sleep what do you think about??
what keeps you up at night?
right now I am up thinking about when was the last time I slept with someone & did i ever think i would be here at this place at 32 & ALONE?? Ok i'll write 'single' cause that sounds slightly less depressing than 'alone' but it gets you to the same point ... i am asking did you ever think about your current circumstance @ 3:11 am??
i am
(and it is keeping me up at night)

coffee thought...

what's funny is I have been procrastinating in writing this very blog.
Not for the trepidation of the topic of coffee, but for it is categorized as my 100th blog.

Thank you, thank you.

One hundred random thoughts later we arrive at this place of java-nirvana... where caffeine meets consciousness & literally a whole new world awakens. It is not surprising that this is the 100th blog, fore it is a topic I am well versed in and represents a major part of my life...
the search for a good strong cup of Joe that can carry me thru the day and pick me up at nights. This right here is very elusive (see previous 99 thoughts) and apparently I have been on this search for longer than I care to remember but for those of you asking, here is what I need:

my Joe must have
a delicate mixture of strength & sweetness
quintessentially essential to my enjoyment.
you can’t have one without the other,
and it is very much appreciated in balance.

Let us not forget the deep richness of his texture that is damn near sinful
provoking the stimulation of my senses that comes when his aroma wafts thru you.
Just being near java awakens my thoughts,
my emotions, and my senses that until now seemingly lie dormant;
catapulting images of cinnamon & cream mixed into you.

Oh God, I am in search of that good to the last drop,
please serve it to me hot
cup of Joe that will warm my insides
and singe my fingers to the touch.
Sometimes too hot to handle
(thou I will definitely try)
when I get my java it will be no lie
satisfaction apparent.
Contentment ensues.

Until then, YES,
I am in the midst of coffee blues…
I promise to appreciate Joe like no one else will do
I pledge my taste buds to you alone
Please oh please send me

that fine cup of Joe…

WE Are the USA...

NOW it is time

HOPE

CHANGE

The reality is...

History is NOW

This is the face of AMERICA today...

PRESIDENT ELECT Barack Obama

11-4-08

November 4, 2008
Today is one of many historic days in this world.
Today is one of the many days in MY lifetime I can make a difference.
Today I voted for President of the United States of America.
Historically, if you looked at my voting record, you will see my tendencies and voting history; you will see the decisions I make and the morals I choose to align myself to.
You will see that it is all about choice...
And that is MY LIFE, right?
ALL about choice & freewill given to us to ultimately have the option to even make a choice.
WOW our right to choose- that is DEEP in many of aspects...
it is all about choice
Well, guess what I found out? One of the brothers is a republican!! (is that like a bad word here??)
Yes he is a registered repub and his contention is that while he is on the more liberal side of republicancy he still agrees with most of their overall values.
I Definitely respect that, and the CHOICE he has-
cause lets face it we all have a choice-
and the fact we are all soo learned and diverse enough to make an educated decision and decide...

AND HE STILL CHOOSES OBAMA!!!

(so I guess not as "crazy" as one thinks...)
please make a difference...
go out and vote & revel in YOUR rights that many a person has fought for
*and still are fighting for*

Oh the way on the MTA...

This bus ride is ridiculous.

The amount of time it takes for the 21 bus to make it down the hill & around the bend is like slowly watching paint dry. Slowly.
It would be more health conscious & probably more conducive to walk and all that- however the thought that 4 wheels beat 2 heels is applied and here I am waiting and hoping that this bus takes me to where I got to go.

And on time. IS that too much to ask for for my $2.00 per ride 2x a day??

next thought the # 5 train.

This hunk of metal is very efficient in turning someone from a well-mannered normal human being into a one-person lunatic asylum in a matter of 2-3 stops.
Depending on the day you get “my dude” who is his own show- that is like in “do –not- slow -the –flow" show. Ladies & gentlemen the season for giving is year round- and you are Santa clause. Please be aware- do not keep your wallets in your back pocket & have a safe wonderful & glorious day.

Hilarious. He makes my day go by in a very special way.

I am sooo done with the commute!

why do i try?

trick or treat??
more like the joke is on me ALL THE DAMN TIME. today got word on the management position that i applied for a month ago. guess who is just not good enough again? guess who got the job? my good friend DNS (who i happen to send in the resume for and cover letter/ same one who got promoted over me for sr.csr of something else)
YES i am happy and estatic for her, i just feel slighted every damn time.
WHEN THE FUCK AM I GONNA CATCH A BREAK?
i mean i work hard, do right, live justly and play fair and what am i doing wrong in that equation?
someone send me a clue...no actually don't send me a clue and just give me the answer cause surely i cant figure it out.

things to do @ work...

things to do @ work...

clean my desk?-->

or paint my nails...

as you can see the nails won out...

Columbus' Discovery

well kinda sorta...

so last week i took Columbus holiday off work NOT to celebrate his infamous "discovery"of a new land..but more so to try & "discover" some new money in Atlantic City, NJ.

We (grandma, Big Mike & I) took a bus trip from in front of my old stomping grounds/ grammar school of St. Augustine School (it used to be called St. Augustine School of the Arts or SASA but there is a looong story that I will have to get to sometime..)
this is the ONLY place grandma will venture to... via bus with the other old ladies. This is her variation of a 'spa day'

at any rate, leaving my house early in the morning and traveling the 2 blocks to this school was like a surreal blast from the past...having not made that particular trip at that particular time in the AM in quite a # of years it was a blast from the past...As i turned the corner to SASA i felt i was 12 again and running late (*I was)
but yeah hopped on the bus, took a seat and promptly fell asleep.
2 hrs later, viola AC here I am & I am ready to go!
suffice it to say i didn't hit it big... the most i got was $100.00 but hey it was a fun day!

illegal pics of us gambing at the machines

poem of the day...

moon- 11:13--11:19

awakened while sleeping or am i dreaming?
i have been having these visions of things
that wake me up in the night...
nothing bad,
but usually about 3:20 am my mind says 'time'
and thru my closed lids, the moon speaks a soft hello.
now normally this would not bother me
except that time Denzel was about to marry me.
or there was that other time when he told me he loved me
& wanted to stop the wedding
oh & then there was that time
i was driving my own jeep truck
& then there was the time
that i was watching Nocturnal _ _ _ _
woah, whew
thank god for the moon
i guess i'll close my eyes again,
dont worry i'll be awake soon.

chicken grease

coffee thought...

i am sick today which means there are no thoughts of coffee or anything else.
well, that's not entirely true- there are thoughts of vicks vapor rub & a certain someone (we'll leave that up to your incredible imaginations)
that's all

coffee thought...

is my coffee 1/2 full or 1/2 empty??

either way... i know a second cup is in order STAT!

that's all...

You know what I miss?

I miss the comfort of her knowledge and the prescence of her being here.
I miss the watering of the plants in my apartment & turkey bacon on our way out in the mornings.
I miss things I never knew that only she could teach.
i will always miss my mommy

coffee thought...

it's been awhile...but today's small cup of java
(yes i said small) is just OK...
plain and boring and barely adequate...

kind of like palin in the debate last night, only this is easier to swallow.

that's all...