You take life very seriously now.
You question major commitments and decisions
you have made in the past,
such as career choices,
place of residence,
marriage and other major relationships.
This is a time of self-analysis
and questioning
about the direction
you have taken in your life.
Well isn't this the sh*t that keeps me up at night every damned night and twice on Sundays too?
I mean, while I live in contribution and do 'right' as defined by Websters et. al... I am often in wonderment of this direction of life... this path I am on... this choice that the universe says I am choosing? Like really? Like I am actively choosing to be single and live without companionship and without love or without having that relationship I desire or family and children that I dreamt about.
The universe is saying this is my choice?
I need to see the receipts on that one, because this is not what I signed up for.
I rebuke that sh*t..
But,
until I get the proof that THAT is what it is,
I feel like young Natalie Wood in the end of Miracle on 34th street
reciting
'I believe, I believe, I know it is silly but I believe"
and magically (via Santa, right?) her 'dreams' came true.
I believe...
I believe...
I believe...
that's all..
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