Massage Envy..

That's actually the name of the place. It has been a long overdue massage in the making because my body needed to be touched (and not in that way altho I ain't been touched in that way so maybe it needs that too but right now am focusing on the stress/neck/ ect issues I have been having before I digress...)

So I booked 1 &1/2 hour massage with a male friend. Not that type of friend.  Separate rooms. After a quick chat there was a decision to get a facial as well (again...mind ought the gutter people) and signed up for that. I mean considering I got a raise and all why not blow it right out the gate (altho they shorted me exactly $221 for my check this month which is very odd and I have a case out with the ever so helpful linky-syncing system we have to work with (said in my oh so sarcastic voice)

PS- as I am typing this I am drinking wine and relaxing in bed. Took a muscle relaxer cause I need to relax and the neighbors next door are having a heated argument in Spanish. The words I hear [know] are 

punta = cunt/ hoe (such vulgarity)

Mentirosa = liar

Lo siento = I'm sorry

Salir de me casa = get the out my house

Oh my goodness = oh my goodness 

Que no es grave = it's not serious 

Diga me = tell me

Amongst some banging and slamming of things. Funday Sunday night...

Anywho back to yesterday's massage... A leaf massaged me. Not an actual leaf but a dude named Leif. He seemed to be a mixed race dude who was very personable and knowledgeable and had good hands. Not exactly ugly/ not exactly cute/ not my type. (Love good hands- guess that is a prerequisite for a masseuse). We chatted a bit about the problem areas (pinched nerve/ lower back) and he was like strip for me. (Ok wasn't like that but I had 3 minutes to get naked and under a blanket). Cool, good to know I can get naked in a hurry ;) anywho massage starts with me on my stomach. Now let me tell you something... Being flat on my stomach is not entirely comfortable at all as 'the girls' impede any really comfortably. Like I'm a good 6 inches off the table here, thanks. Anyways after some shimmying we work it out and I'm situated (tense) but good. Leif starts his thing, warm hands, and gets to work. (Now it takes me a good 10 minutes to relax cause SOMEONE IS TOUCHING ME but I mean getting mentally prepared for a massage is something I had all week to do, sooo yeah). As dude is working it out something brushes my arm... Something not in the form of a leg or thigh or arm or hand. Something in the form of a penis (well a penis in his pants not all out and about..again it is not that type of party people!) and I am like WTF...uhhhh. Dude was actually aroused. And present. Now, I didn't know weather to be disgusted or flattered cause I mean massage is hard work (no pun intended) and just like dudes can get hard from working out I assume this 'thing' works the same way. Or maybe touching people turns him on? Or me? Anywho... I'm gonna ignore all that and relax. Woo sah... Pressure is good. He is surprised about the tattoos on my back and asked question about their meaning. Okkkkk. Now, as homie is massaging the crap out the knot in my shoulder (oh yes) I am like drifting more into relaxing and my mind is all over the place (not in the oh can't sleep way but the Ohhh this is kinda nice way). He moves down to the glutes and works that out. Thighs (yess) and legs/ feet. As he is massaging the thighs I feel him brush against me accidentally again.

THIS time... More...specifically he was more harder, more there... more like WOAH....
I was like uhhhhh....OK. OK. OK.
Now there is no more concentration going on ova here THIS IS SERIOUS!!!! (Seriously hilarious when you think about it) and now I am trying not to smirk cause I mean who does that and I am trying to be sensitive to his plight - I mean you got to finish the job and got this issue and yeah... But oh well. Suffice it to say my mind alternately went from real relaxation to hmmm other gutter thoughts. Good thing I'm a good girl at all times. 

Anywho once the whole massage was done I felt delicious and I got to chill while I waited for my facial. My dude was getting a facial as well and they only had one lady on staff to do that- so an hour I wait. Now, patience and patiently waiting are not my strong suits but I managed. The esthetician cleansed  the face, checked under some light thing and said I need more water and vitamin c and need to exfoliate more.  All in all not bad. $200+ dollars later... hey I'm worth it, no?

Now my friends' massage experience was not as fulfilling as mine (his lady needed to apply more pressure and he communicated that to her 3 times). And I guess it is a universal involuntary response thing (of the penis) to want to hang out or stand up or something cause he mentioned that there was some 'intentional grounding' thinking going on there. (Talk about control). But I mean he survived having never had a massage before (I mean professional I am sure his ladies touch him) so it was a good day. Topped off with good conversation and a good steak and a great sleep.... Ummm but all I can think about was massage envy... <-- which would make a great poem about touch and deep and breath and massage and hands lingering and muscles relaxing and other tensions coming to the surface... pasue... I may need to get to err.... writing... yeah writing...

Will I go back? I mean I liked the massage (have had better and worse)  so the $70 monthly membership is my dilemma. I mean yeah I can afford it but will I use it? I didn't use to get monthly massages before so who I think I is? Will it help me sleep? Possibly. Will it help me relax? Possibly. Thinking thinking thinking... 

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