similar to when i look up at the clock either in the morning or evening when i catch a glimpse of 9:11 it definitely touches me. so 10:25 is similar in that sense.
it has been a year.
to the date.
to the moment that has pretty much defined how i lived my past year...in mourning and grief (but a functioning mourner and griever nonetheless).
it annoys me to no end that there are things she wont see me accomplish or be here to actually meet and greet (like this future love of my life when i get a man- oh wait that may not happen...) or when i get my first house (hmm considering the student loan debt i have that is equivalent to the gdp of an emerging nation...)
i digress...
today i went to church & prayed the rosary (really the last few parts that i rememberered & was there for) and watched a bad # of children act out immeasureably while the preacher was delivering his word. apparently i turned and gave then the church woman look that said 'if ya'll dont sit your behinds still so help me god i will help u meet your maker today' suffice it to say they chilled out. after mass, Mike & i went and got Mel to go to the cemetary and visit dad who is still without a grave marker and prayed.
the weather was lovely. then we went to brunch (considering it was 2pm) and then to the park where we sat and reminisced about mom/dad/ lisa/ all the folks that passed and the different things of out childhood that we missed and loved to do.
inveritably the coco icee dude showed up and we got some (the 1st of 2009) and the talked some more. it was a decent day after all, not spent alone or morbid thinking thoughts that i thought would be thought. (you know i think i think too much) not too many tears (not that tears are bad...) but funny how i arrive here, 10:25 pm... thinking how much she would have enjoyed today and just the peace that we had.
You are truly loved & missed MOM
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