So
I know I am going to open myself into a whole heap of questions/ trouble/
"looks of concern" by divulging this but…
Can I just say there is
something inherently wrong with me??
Now
I know I put on a good look and a great face, have magnificent shoes & and
have a hell of a personality (I don't make this shyt
up) but really there is something in truth wrong with me, I mean
that is the only conclusion I can come up with why… (We will get into that
later in) NO, don't get me wrong, I mean I am not talking about "wrong with me" like "oh my goodness, there is something sticking
out your side" or, "oh
my goodness, I am going to die"(no
I don't wish that on anyone including myself) [unless one can die from loneliness and
lack of sex ( I may have to google that)] but it is more like, wow
tash, for more reasons than one, 1) you are lonely
and THAT is blatant, palpable, and truly real…2) for all the morals and stuff I
attempt to live by, why oh why are you having sexual dreams & escapades
about HIM? (this leads me back to the
prior notion that there is something wrong with me…)
I
mean really of ALL the folks on this WWW & on Gods
green earth WHY would my subconscious consciously wrap myself up with
HIM? And not once, not twice, lets just say more than a few times come to mind
(no pun intended). And the fact that it is
HIM is just WRONG cause well WRONG WRONG
WRONG. I mean is it possible that…I mean there are sooo many amazing
men I ogle, drool over, fantasize about, and yes admittedly admire like Denzel
Washington, Boris Kodjoe, Morris Chestnut, Nate Parker, Dwayne Johnson, Keston
Karter and a few Michaels to boot like Michael Jordan, Michael
Jai White, and Michael Ealy to name a fair few. So why does me + rolling around with HIM in bed
*multiplied by a number of acrobatic & compromising positi.. shame shame
shame…. Oh and another thought, what does
that say about me? What does that say about my morals and values? What does
this say about my sexuality? What are my dreams/visions trying to tell me that
is not coming thru in the daytime? I am so confused and so not in
the know. And then who does one ask about this
type of thing? All these thoughts and emotions are running thru my
head on a nightly basis, which wakes me up as an emotionally drained, tired and
horny woman. I am in desperate need some chocolate, and more coffee, hell and some sex…
Currently listening :
I wanna sex you up
Color Me Badd Release date: 17 April, 1991 |
No comments:
Post a Comment