hi. welcome. this is me at 1:57 pm just getting to my first cup of coffee.
yes, so not a good look.
Surprisingly people have survived and mass destruction has not ensued.
yet.
and what did i have for lunch today? a BIG MAC and fries. this is the 2nd time in 2 weeks I have been to Mickey D's and I am not proud of it. There was a time I would physically get sick at the smells emanating from that place- now as of late, it is calling me and my weak willed self is answering the call like the crack pipe calls my neighbor. why can't I just get the salad?
this is so endangering the loss of poundage that i have accomplished and am keeping off. Of course at this rate I will have regained all that weight and then put myself into depression- a deeper depression than the semi depressed fake it (sunshiny days) till I make it (see. I am smiling. Yes, that hurt my face)
I need to refocus my energies and stop being in this depressive state that even my therapist is unaware of (cause yeah i am good like that- or just bad like that) or maybe because we didn't even get to discuss what i really want to talk about which is stupid since i am paying my money and not getting what i want from all this. what is a girl to do??? speak up? yeah i know.
and I am already stressed. work is stressing me out. People LOVE to not come to work (you know illness and all...riiiight?) and guess who is there with their flippin moral fiber & good work ethic. Moi.
and where does this get me? here still with no real bed & no real prospects and no real motivation to do anything else.
Is this normal?
oh, and when bad=good & other foolishness- yeah i was happy for 0.0005 millisecond eatin that french fry.
My stomach is punishing me now.
foolishness.....
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