Let's dance!

Things I never thought I would be doing on my birthday:

• Waking up on a king size bed overlooking the water
• Being sung Happy Birthday by a nice woman named Elaine who worked in the Swarvoski store.
• Getting presents.
• Heading to a Polynesian Restaurant where you see hula and fire dancing and great food. And sexy men.
• Go to a strip club. [strip clubs and dollar bills- still got my money]
• See more sexy men.  Get a lap dance. [still got my money]
• Get the stripper to loose his 'focus' [still got my money] *
• Have a wonderful cake and more singing sung to me with candles.
• Making wishes...
• Hearing 'I Love You'- you know? **

Anywho...I made a wish.

 *

Soooo yeah. Cutting out all the other PG-13 stuff and skipping straight to the XXX we (my friend Jem and her daughter) in the club. We watching the folks get it in. We have champagne. Some men are obviously very good at their job- as in they stay fit and flexible. And fit is what my mind kept reeling. And some are not so good/ fit/ attractive.

Any who our table is chilling by the stage cause why not put our table right up front and center. The girls are trying to get me a lap dance.

Literally trying to figure out "what's your flavor?"  Well, it depends on the mood I am in- some days we love a little caramel cream, a little milk chocolate, ooohhh on other days we love love love the dark smooth sexy chocolate- so yeah it depends on the day {however there was this fine chocolate loc'd dude strutting by and my flavor was him for the evening}

So they trying to get me up onstage to get a 'dance'.

Right. I am not buying it (literally) and convince my good good sis to take one for the team.  What you must remember about Jem is that she is so classy- pearls and all- and strippers and strip clubs are not her forte.

Well- she got on stage and went to town.  It was a riot. Her daughter was hollering and it looked like Sparkles had a great time.

Next up was me and the chocolate brother. He came over with a tee shirt for me to 'get'.

just do me- no comment(s) necessary

Well I got the shirt and discovered he has a tongue ring.

Get yo minds out the gutter.

Remember I am a good girl- but while he was dancing and them hookers were telling me to smack it/ touch it/ rub it (slores I tell ya).

I was intrigued by the 6 pack just mere inches in front of me. Hmmm.

I was intrigued by the other inches in front of me... Hmmm.

Anywho I called a time out when he did something with his tongue and I was like oh my he got a tongue ring- to which he busted out laughing and had to refocus. Stripping is serious business.

Suffice it to say WE made a memorable experience of the strip club and now have jokes for days.

Happy Birthday to me

 
** and the 'hearing I love you' part of the equation. It was not by the stripper- thank you very much.
It is what it is- which I have found the perfect words for courtesy of SCANDAL (appropriate).

*text outlined below/ ingrained in my memory*

You have nothing.

You have a pile of secrets and lies and you’re calling it love...

And in the mean time you are letting your whole life pass you by

While they raise children

And celebrate anniversaries

And grown old together.

You are frozen in time.

You are holding your breath

You’re a statue waiting for something that is

Never going to happen.

Living for stolen moments in hotel hallways and coat closets-

You keep telling yourself they all add up to something real

Because in your mind they have to

But they don’t

They wont.

They never will-

Because stolen moments aren’t a life.

So you have nothing.

You have no one

End it now.