Yoga- Day 2

So I decided to try again.
On this day I thought having survived the first day I would be well equipped to handle the heat, sweat and tears (no blood? not yet) and breathing of the 2nd class of Bikram yoga. Apparently not as nausea set in immediately and my 'calm/ serene' thought process escaped me definitely immediately.
I was breathing
I was remembering to focus
I was sweating profusely
I was not flexible
I was getting a cramp in my foot
I need to sit down
I need to focus
I need to stop
I need to remember to keep breathing
I was a hot mess - literally by the end of the class and think that maybe this is not the focus and thought process I can get used to.
Maybe this is not the exercise and path I am supposed to take.
maybe I am not the person who will be able to balance on one foot in a standing bow pose.
or ever be able to touch my toes again
or ever be able to achieve balance in my life- literally and figuratively.
Maybe I just need to focus on myself in other ways - trying to listen to my body is not working.
Hell, we haven't had a cohesive working relationship in some time, it seems. She gets me to where I need to be, I tend to think, OK next time I will do such-and-such to make it all better. Even the whole take care of yourself thing- I literally fell down steps and didn't take care of myself immediately because of the responsibility I think I have to other people, places, and things before me.
damn
I need a re-set button.
and a refill.