SMILE

Today i was watching (as much of the nation was) the Memorial of Michael Jackson.
Let me tell you something I LOVED me some Michael Jackson.

Did I mention that I LOVE LOVE LOVE him??

OK...just checking
I loved him from way back in the day.

I remember watching Motown and seeing his moves on stage with the socks & gloves.

I remember jamming to the cartoons.

I saved my money to buy myself a MJ pin (him in the yellow sweater yup!) and wore it to pieces.

Yeah I made me a white glove with glitter on it (maybe that is where my obsession with sparkly glittery comes in)
I tried to do the dances (made myself dizzy a few times).
Every time he had an album or songs out, I learned the words & moves..
Sang 'we are the world at graduation'.

Was afraid of Thriller and in love with it the same time.

I pretended to be married to him

(wow I cant believe I am putting that out there.... yeah I was Mrs. Jackson for a bit...)
Watched the Moonwalker TAPE almost every Friday with the brothers & Eileen & we all sang along.
There are certain points in my life where I can distinctly remember MJ's influence on it.

Who is going to write the songs that will play in the soundtrack for the rest of my life??
His artistry was amazing and undeniably a musical a genius.

He was definitely an entertainer/ performer and humanitarian.

He also was a son, brother & father.

Those are the things I will remember him for.

Watching from the beginning and listening to the choir sing "soon and very soon" <- that song alone breaks me down because it is the utmost vivid memory from my fathers funeral & we absolutely refused to have it sung at mom's memorial service...it was truly touching.

The words that were said about this man's life, his presence and his gifts, again the only thing I can say is that it moved my heart to tears (and yes, I am sure this has to do with many unresolved issues about my mothers passing and the guilt I still feel and the palpable loss that is ever present)

But I would just like to say I cannot imagine singing at my brothers funeral.

With the recent hospitalizations of the siblings and the traumas my family has been through and the things daily we are going through I cannot imagine having to bury another family member. I know we are human, mortal and we are only temporarily here on this earth but dammit wow.

Watching the memorial, listening to the words, listening to the songs to him touched my heart.

I felt tears flow freely as people paid tribute to a brother who did so much.

My heart grieves for us all.

It is comforting to know he will finally be at peace.