paper bags & good hair...

Not necessarily the two things you would put together (unless you are getting your hair in a bag) but let me explain...
You do not need to be a rocket scientist to know what the paper-bag test is. Many people in the African-American community shun the existence of it but for those who don't know or never knew or thought that was plain ignorant here goes:
the paper bag test is/was basically a test affluent African-Americans (& others) would administer to determine preferential treatment to those who were lighter than the paper bag (I am really simplifying this here- to know more do your own dam research). For those African-Americans who were darker they were deemed _____* fill in the blank and therefore are/were "not good enough"

house negro vs. field negro.
good vs. bad.
light vs. dark.
white vs. black
(you get the point)

So I decided to use this paper bag in my office to "test" my blackness-
low and behold I am black.
(truly didn't need a paper bag to tell me that but OK)
Well not so fast (save the black power fist & dashiki) not according to some people I know and Chris Rock's movie out there now Good Hair. What is good hair, you ask? This is what he was attempting to answer for his daughters and thus shed some light on the topic.
(please can someone let me know)
According to the movie good hair is apparently long, flowing, manageable, easy, and flown in from India (unless you were born with it; which means massa was visiting the slave quarters). "Good hair" is what we spend BILLIONS of time and dollars on in chemicals & processing, time spent at the beauty parlor, wigs, weaves, tracks and stuff to whip that crown of glory into shape (notice the usage of the words)
I saw this movie yesterday and knew some of the things in there (hair from temples in India, reasons behind the sacrifice of hair) but also learned quite a few things that I never new nor experienced (because plain & simply that is not my hair experience)

• the perm/ relaxer: WHAT?? throwing acid up in your hair follicle to relax it from its natural state to bone straight= dangerous. I mean the 4 yr old getting her perm? the torture sessions/ test of wills & the burn that could happen? WHAT?
• weave sex: HUH? *editors note.....* but really don't touch the hair? no running fingers thru the hair, no twisting a loc between your forefinger & thumb while looking into my eyes (sorry i digressed there...)
• water/ rain: ??? Nia Long was like showering with a dude is like extra deep cause to get the whole thing wet and then have to dry it so it doesn't smell and all these other issues. [this is another one I knew since the swimming aspect/ getting hair wet when it rained my friends explained that to me]
• $1,000+ weaves & lay-away plan: <-got no words for that> I remember back in the day when my mom worked for K-mart and we laid-away our Christmas items and were truly delighted to receive them on Christmas Day. Is picking up your weave the same feeling?

While I was watching the stories unfold I was like "WOW, who knew all of this went on on a daily hourly basis in a woman's world?" One of my friends remarked "wow you really aren't black, huh?"
Ouch
All this to say what the hell is good hair? it is funny some of my friends tell me "oh you got good hair" and I say no I don't because hair is hair (dead follicles on your head). Most times people want what they want & don't have-- like i would love to be able to rock some locs in a mohawk or some two-strand twists in a fabulous chignon- alas I cant. whatever that's OK, i just got to do other things to make these follicles work...
oh my point... that my hair as defined by folks who are defining the good hair vs bad hair would be considered "good hair" (especially today when it is long and straight & wow it is raining so that will last until i get outside) does this mean I am buying into the same mentality & argument that is being made BUT in contrast to my skin tone (determined from the paper bag test) I am not good enough. This is the message I am getting from this world... imagine the messages young women are still getting (lest we forget BET, body image & education to boot).
good hair or not Chris Rocks movie was very good, enlightening and has the potential to open up a conversation among all races who are concerned with the hair issue. It taught me lessons I never learned about what some Black Women went thru & go thru to make the 'do do what it do. One lesson I hope EVERYONE takes away from this movie-
don't just come up to me and automatically think you can touch my hair. I will jerk away from you, look at you sideways and then possibly cuss you out.