Born and raised in the South Bronx, New York (USA) I figured some thoughts, words, and musings of me would be entertaining- particularly because I say what I mean and of course I mean what I say.
Yes, I am an educated African-American woman. Yes, I am a poet. Yes, I am emotional. Yes, I am strong. Yes, I am opinionated. Yes, I am single. Yes I am an avid drinker of coffee. Yes I am in constant struggle- oh and I can not spell, so don't judge [ok maybe a bit] Don't be scared, just be willing
So in the grand scheme of things, this is something that I have wanted for a while. On the bottom is the pic from our Enrollment Management Recognition Breakfast. I was recognized for my contribution to the work in the Financial Aid realm. I mean I guess this is a good thing, this lovely certificate.
The next pic is of my presentation at NASPA- specifically for their Symposium on Financial Literacy. Considering this is something I have been working on for over a year now- the Fin Ed work not the actual presentation, I think it rather cool to go to D.C. and present.
Which is a silly as joke but considering today is May 4 I guess it is fitting.
What is not fitting are my clothes after this cruise I went on with my friends. Leading up to this vacation that was being planned over a year ago has been one of the most stressful times of my life- particularly dealing with work, family, friends, me (and in no particular order)
Figuring out how to get oneself to the airport via the MTA that don't ever want to go your way on a regular basis is a feat. Coupled with the fact I had a houseguest for 3 weeks prior to my leaving with left me with only 2 days to get my sh*t together so that I can vacate is stressful- you would think vacationing is not (yes 1st world problems)
Anywho, once I got to Florida, relaxation was able to commence and whatever I didn't have someone had. And let me tell you the amount of drinks alone on that cruise would have equaled a plane ticket to Bermuda and back. Trust me.
Yay unlimited drink package. And yay for NCL on getting their sh*t together- because this boat was not leaving Miami unless they did have it together.
But utterly fascinating was the sisterhood that was felt during that trip. Missing from the photo below is Steph.
I mean considering I do not have actual sisters (tho I have adopted TD & others along the way) it was great to be like in a great mix of supporting and hilarious and smart and caring and understanding and intelligent and dynamic women. Truly. We checked in on each other and made sure everyone was having fun. We covered each other with no one stealing from the other and I got some much needed sun and sand and sleep which is a rare 3 combination.
I missed some peoples presence but such is life.
I loved hanging out with my nephew and his foolishness- watching him daily interact with his mom and the rest of the folks is pure genius.
He is truly a blessed heart and his mom is a saint! Kids are great!
There was a moment on this trip where I was being someone's social worker or counselor so to speak and this person was born on Mom's birthday but having difficulties with his family and his elder moms care and basically I was like pray and understand you did/ doing the best you can. I guess that is what has to or needs to be said and heard at times (even on vacation). Funny enough the gang was like he needs his own friends and you good to chat with him for like 1/2 HR. It was riotous. But, all in all was able to sleep, pray, think, talk and generally overall just disconnect from some of the stressors of my life. I did not check emails or log on the computer (cause I was not getting charged erroneously for nothing nor anyone's issues since I do not got it like that). Now, my itsy bitsy tiny issue that happened at the end of the trip came in the way of getting from the airport- but you know once again I figured it out.
Back to work after a lovely weekend trip. One of them 'escape the world' specials that i can do- drove to Canada to see Niagara Falls considering I have always wanted to see them and two I have never seen them it was my civic duty to drive up there and cross the border and take a look.
Day 1- My road buddy this time was TRS as she got the hotel room on lock. So I drove. And drive. And drives some more. We talked about a lot of things and when I say we talk about a lot of things specifically love and lost and the loves we lost and the crazy men that we loved who were really boys in men's suits it is really enlightened as to what we discover about the truths we are holding on to about love. Or love we thought we had. One of the pivotal thoughts that came across Is the love we thought we deserved (individual of the love we shared with these men- such as emotional, physical, spiritual and otherwise). At any point in the equation was that ever received or was that just perceived by what I thought I was getting- which I maintain is not love cause from what I heard love don't hurt you like that (also love don't cost a thing and love don't live here anymore but I digress).
somewhere over the double rainbow
As we (I) drove we stopped a couple of times at random NY rest stops and even saw a double rainbow so clear and pronounced. It was amazing.
A we approached the Canadian border it was time for the passports to be produced and I was like ok no prob- we Americans so yay! Dude was all about to shoot me down like where you going and how long you staying and why you staying so far from the falls and do you have any firearms, knives, mace, pepper spray or other contraband? I was like shoot should I, it's just Canada? After all the questioning, I was sweating and felt like I done stole something. Sheesh. But then the real fun began as the speed limit immediately turned into kilometers and motherf* I can't read kilometers and I am horrible in math. Brief panic setfull fledged panic set in as I am driving cause who trying to get a speeding or non speeding ticket and how much is that in American dollars?
Anywho, we made it (cause I had to pull over, call AT&T and inform them I am abroad and please don't shut off my phone) for the GPS to continue to work and then kept a driving. We found the hotel and then went out for the evening. FYI Canada is cold as fluck. Overall. Really cold as we are north.
me+drink=happy place
We ate some fine food and then had a drink or two and headed back to the hotel room.
Day 2- we get up to a continental breakfast and successfully found other black people to chat briefly to. We knew our plan was to head to Niagara Falls and figured have GPS will travel. We did ask them for directions and found it was like 49 minutes away (back towards NY) but hey we go where the cheap rates are. We drove and found parking in a lot and walked around. Got a ticket to see the view of the falls from a space needle vantage point and the amazing GOD beauty that was the colors of the leaves was truly awesome. There are no other words for that.
view from the top
We also took a few pictures cause you know your girl had to and even saw some glass blowing (reminiscent of Chiully). Then we walked thru this part where we saw some Canadian geese (or are they just geese since we are already in Canada??) and some maple leaves which were cool.
duck duck duck Canadian goose?
We ran across some dinosaurs (no lie!) and thoroughly looked at the souvenirs- you know I have a magnet collection going.
Jurassic Park- not
Anywho the beauty of nature and the falls had me (a simple island Bronx girl) in awe of God's awesome wondererousness (my word).
Canadian Selfie!
As we approached the falls and you hear the loudness of them and the mist from the falls is rising to the sky I am transported back to before this was a populated tourist attraction and thinking about what the original inhabitants must have thought- to harness this power? To respect and cherish this natural resource? Just beauty. And then I think about natural erosion and how things happen in the world. Crazy.
#lifeofabean
So we stop and get another good Canadian meal and throughly enjoy the day. Taking with TRS about life and decisions and choices and what's next and lives lost and loves lost- you know my mind was racing. And then, just thinking about the things I thought I would be doing approaching my fourth decade on this earth, and not entirely unaccomplished and not entirely accomplished in everything that I wanted to do (and every person I wanted to do... but I'll save that for the not PG version) and I am like well damn, isn't this something. And as my impulsive nature can get to me I decide to sign up for the GRE so I can apply for the EdD and then possibly make this thing (career) a bigger thing (vocation? extremely profitable career? opportunity for growth and movement in my career? movement to another location in the lower states career?) I dunno...but $175 USD is off the credit card and there is no turning back (application due by 12/1)...so what did I learn? Internationally my insomnia takes on a Canadian accent just FYI...
We even ordered Canadian Chinese food- and mental note I happen to love my hood spots.
Day 3- When it was time to leave the next day, we enjoyed continental breakfast again (yay!) and headed home.
legit snow. no thank you
Now, as we were driving and before we crossed into the upstate NY area the skies got hella gray and would you believe it started snowing! Like legit snow flakes. Yes it is Canada. Yes it is north. Yes it is anytime after June 1- but dammit I was so not ready for snow. And the folks on the road weren't ready as well. There was a bunch of sliding things happening that made me slightly afraid. But the Lord (and his gift of superior driving skills)...
Anywho We stopped in duty free and believe you me I almost lost my damn mind. Crossing the border and going thru customs was an experience. Welcome to NY with that attitude as well.
Got home and all in all spontaneous road trips are all thumbs up for me!
Next time my visit will include getting on the boat (maiden of the mist) and even walking under the falls! Maybe even a male partner of mine so there can be some International love(cause I am all about the international relations) I crack me up!
Currently flying at 39453 feet in the air traveling from Fort Lauderdale at 529 miles per hour over Savannah at this point. Going home. Home.
That is something that I am thankful to be able to have is a home. I was visiting (with my sister girl TD) at my other sister girl house.
It was a lovely time- basically where we were able to rest relax and just be.
And we talked cause we all can take up a storm. But it was soo good to see pearls again after having not seen her in quite some time (since I drove her to Florida).
We went to the beach and (according to them) were attacked by fishes.
It was the funniest thing. The sand on this beach was hot as hellfire and we were doing our best bay watch runs to the water and was thoroughly enjoying the food drinks dranks and drunks. Lol. As we were watching the birds dive down near the pier and scoop up the fishes I felt a little fish by my foot and was like oh. Well we are in the ocean so I guess it is to be expected. Then TD feels a fish. Then pearls daughter was like Ohhhh mommy you better get out the water (she gets skeeved by these things) and the next thing you know there was a school or a damn near university of fishes (mind you these fish are like 3 inches at max) swimming by us. Let me tell you the craziness and the screaming them ladies did. I was cracking up laughing and they were grabbing on to TD for safety:
FYI we are in boob high water and FYI #2 we were swimming topless so 'they' were jumping out the water and the while damn beach was watching. You can't make this stuff up. TD was like (all deadpan) monotonous get off me.
I died. apparently, being of Island parentage and used to fish and fish swimming near you/ by you and of course being that I am part mermaid, sea enchantress, goddess I am used to things like that...
Gotta love the silliness.
But on a serious tip, because of the spiritual beliefs and God that we believe in she cleanses her house spiritually in a regular basis. We talked about some of the things (spirits and prayers) and last night
was interesting if the nights that I was troubled in my sleep (prayers AND had to sleep with the light on)
There are some things that are un-explainable...There are some things you don't ask questions on that's all...
Enjoy your days...
Yay.
Today is shaping up to be a great day
It is a Monday and I am not at work. I am chilling in a pool with my girls. And my girls are getting some much needed sun.
This afternoon we have massages we are scheduled for and that is something that I need (someone to touch my body please please please)
And on that note that one started his job today (whoo hoooo for making them power moves) many blessings be upon him...
And on another note it is the birthday of the philly boy- which truly means nothing other than it is a day in July.
It's amazing what time does to dates, huh?
In any event, the evenings dinner should be some combination of laughter, liquor and lightness. that's all...
This is what they call a relational psychology test. The answers to these questions indicate relevance to values that you hold in your personal lives. Let’s get to it!
Picture yourself walking through a beautiful forest. The sun is out, there’s a perfect breeze. It’s just beautiful.
Who are you walking with? Him
As you continue on in your walk through the forest, you come across an animal.
What kind of animal is it? Frog
You come up to the animal.
What does the animal do? Follows & Walks (hops) with me
You’re walking deeper into the woods yet, and you come to a clearing. There’s a house in the middle of the clearing.
How big is it? Is it fenced in or no? Small to medium cottage, low stone homely & Inviting
You walk up to the door of the home and it’s open a bit. You enter and see a table.
Describe what’s on the table. Plates & candles & napkins & fruit and food.
You finish looking around the house and leave out the back door. There’s a huge lawn and in the center is a garden. In the garden, you find a cup.
What is the cup made out of? What do you do with the cup? a big mug- sturdy for the large coffees I love! I pick it up and take it with me (never know when I will run into a Starbucks on my journey...)
As you walk to the end of the garden, you find yourself at a body of water.
What kind of body of water is it? A lake? River? Pond? it is a lake/ very huge river very pretty
You must cross this water in order to get home.
How wet do you get? I swim out to a boat (so very?) and then row the boat.
Ready for some answers?
The person you were walking with is the most important person in your life. Wait...
The size of the animal you come across is a representation of the size of your problems. ok, a cool small frog...
If your action was more severe, it means you tend to be more aggressive. If it was peaceful, then more passive. welp..guess I'm a bit passive...
The size of your home is representative of the size of your ambition. small to medium-- hmmmm
If there was no fence around the home, it means you tend to be more open. stone fence-- that's telling... a damned stone fence, huh?
If what you saw on the table wasn’t food, people, or flowers, it indicates some unhappiness. well there was food & other stuff-- does that mean I am semi-unhappy?
How durable the cup you found was is representative of how strong your relationship is with the person in the first part of the story. What you do with it is representative of your attitude toward them. well the cup is a big mug so I guess its a big thing.. and I take it with me so does that mean I take this relationship with me?
The size of the body of water is related to the size of your sexual drive. gasp! we all knew that...hehehe
If you became very wet, it indicates that sex is important to you. If not very wet, it may mean it’s less important. all the way wet... literally when I think of... anywho glad I can swim, huh...
coffee thought...
Back from the NASPA conference in New Orleans, Louisiana. While the
conference was intriguing and informative and really made me think
about the possibilities of a terminal degree for me (paging Dr. Bean
anyone?) it also made me examine some of the biases and expectations
of this Student Affairs field that I am in.
The other night when I couldn't sleep or really speak to anyone about
my issues (any of the 1,023 of em)- it really made me wonder if I
wonder too much or if I over think things pertaining to the many things beyond
my control.
So I think about my journey/ path into higher education and how I got
here. Some know my story, most don't. Cool. But now that I am here- 15 years later- where am I? Am I where I thought I could be? Am I where I wanted to be? Am I where I am going to end up? Or am I just here?
So examination and reflection periodically is key to constant forward motion. ( I mean you have to know where you are to know how to move from there, right? This is precisely why on a map there is a you are here marker) and with that being said, I think of a bow and arrow- to properly shoot a bow and arrow you have to take aim, position yourself- retract the arrow and release. Did you hear me? You pull the arrow back to go forward. SO where do I go back (as in go back to school?/ do I take a lesser position somewhere else with a pay cut?) to go forward?? And what does forward look like?
Hell, where am I and are we there yet at the same damn time??
This is a good day one horoscope for the NASPA Conference in New Orleans that I am attending. I feels things are gonna be changing...
Ambitious schemes and the pursuit of success and status take on a high priority now. This brings a focus on the practical, the successful, the pragmatic - whatever it takes to get you ahead in the long run. The meek may inherit the earth, but the shrewd will collect the rent.
You're not in the mood for loud noises, bright lights or music that's any more raucous than Hayden, or maybe Yanni. So be sure you've got the ambiance you're after, and don't settle for less. You're perfectly entitled to silence when you want it, and you need it now. Besides, you might need to get away for a couple of days to feed this mood of yours. Not a bad excuse for a trip to the country, where there won't be any tourists to deal with. Maybe a road trip? Oh, you'll think of something.
Yeah so this is my current mood and maybe it is time for an escape route of some sort... Because the things that in dealing with coupled with a few sleepless nights equals the not-so-lovely-me being all present and accounted for. Sometimes my twin (yes the evil one) needs a good run on people so I can READ THEM TO FILTH AND KEEP IT MOVING.
Yeah.. I guess before I do that I may want to vacate the premises or current surroundings...we shall see.
Flights of fancy...
that's all...
But wait- this other Horoscope says:
Letting out your deeper expressions of feeling to another can make things especially intimate right now, but make sure you express yourself clearly and are not misunderstood. The perfect time to feel "at home" with someone, either literally or figuratively. The only thing you'll not want to be is idle, the energy and vibes are too intense to just sit on your hands.
Is that for the other twin to process and act on? (basically what feels like crazy on an ordinary day?)
Baby let's cruise away from here Don't be confused baby, the way is clear And if you want it you got it forever Oh, this is not a one night stand baby
Let the music take your mind And just release and you will find, baby
We're going to fly away Glad you're going my way I love it when we're cruisin' together
Music was made for love Cruisin' is made for love I love it when we're cruisin' together
Baby, tonight belongs to us Everything's right, do what you must, baby And inch by inch we get closer and closer Every little part of each other ooh, baby, baby
Let the music take your mind Just release and you will find, baby
We're going to fly away Glad you're going my way I love it when we're cruisin' together
Music was made for love Cruisin' is made for love I love you when we're cruisin' together
We're going to fly away Glad you're going my way I love it when we're cruisin' together
Music was made for love Cruisin' is made for love I love you when we're cruisin' together
Cruise with me baby, baby Oh baby
Oh baby let's cruise, let's flow Let's glide, let's open up and go inside And if you want it you got it forever I can just stay there inside you and love you, baby
Let the music take your mind And just release and you will find
We're going to fly away Glad you're going my way I love it when we're cruisin' together
Music was made for love Cruisin' is made for love I love you when we're cruisin' together
We're going to fly away Glad you're going my way I love it when we're cruisin' together
Music was made for love Cruisin' is made for love I love you when we're cruisin' together
We're going to fly away Glad you're going my way I love it when we're cruisin' together
Music was made for love Cruisin' is made for love I love you when we're cruisin' together
We're going to fly away Glad you're going my way I love it when we're cruisin' together
Music was made for love Cruisin' is made for love I love you when we're cruisin' together
I figure i should have a few different horoscopes here for the start of the year and see where it takes me.HOROSCOPES
Overview
Double hurray, all of that diligence and handwork is totally paying off in 2015, Gemini. You've fought your way through enough bumps and bruises on the road to success over the past few years, and now you're ready to truly claim your foothold and take your vision to the next level. The cosmic taskmaster is finally taking a break from your work and health zone and will only come back for brief audit and finalization this summer (June-September). So go ahead and spend the first half of the year pursuing excellent collaborations and stellar people to partner with. The other sweet news is that life isn't going to be more of that all work and no play non-sense. Relationships of the romantic variety will take priority in 2015 as well. You're learning and re-learning the art of partnering. This requires quality-time and attention, good boundaries, reciprocity and the ever-elusive balance of self and other.
One of your strongest assets in 2015 (if not always) is your mind. The difference this year is your knack for large-scale dreaming. You're totally a creative visionary as the New Year begins and that powerful and exuberant influence will push you to new heights for the first half of 2015. Ju-piter, the planet of luck, abundance and the big picture continues to light up the zone of your horoscope ruling your mind, communication, siblings and daily interactions. This makes life more playful and joyful with childlike enthusiasm all around. The only caveat is that Jupiter will be retrograde until April, so you may want to wait until spring to launch your biggest-of-the-big-shot projects, Gemini.
If you've had home improvement dreams or the fantasy of a total change of residence in your brain, the second half of the year could bring tremendous opportunity for expanding your domes-tic horizons. Lucky Jupiter will move into the base of your horoscope in August bringing a strong urge to spread out and take over more living space and land. You're ready to live large in whatever context that best supports your fabulous dreams of the moment. Mars and Jupiter will tag-team it in late September and October, so mark your calendars for your new home or biggest renovation project during that time. Don't worry dear; you should be making enough cash to support some pimped out, extravagant living. Dreamy Neptune continues to bring the glamour to your career zone for the fourth year in a row. You're starting to get the hang of feeling and living like the rockstar you are, Gem!
Romantic
Neither you nor your twin take kindly to being backed into a corner, Gemini. When it comes love, you like to keep it light and the commitment as open and flexible as possible, for as long as possible. The only problem with that is when you find a total catch and the clock is ticking in the 'maybe' zone. This year the stakes are sky-high. If you haven't already landed your dream twin, you will. And if you're still hemming and hawing with the one that arrived in 2014, expect to go committed or go home (alone). The pressure is totally on because Saturn is taking residence in your partner zone for the next few years, Gemini. The cosmic taskmaster doesn't mess around with the superficial and requires the long-haul dedication. You're being tested on your commit-ment level and ability to define the boundaries and structures around relationships. If you abso-lutely don't want or feel ready to settle down, you'll have to define some seriously integrated single-hood for yourself in a way that feels steady and grounded. The point is not to waver or sit on the fence. Try that, and Saturn will most definitely bring you to your knees before the year is finished.
To double-up on this love theme (and you're all about the doubles, twinstar), the North Node of Fate will continue to bless your house of romance again this year. The magic and (possibly ob-session) that began last year could easily go to the next level. If you're not in love with a human, this could be your love of a creative project or child. If you're in the market for making babies, you have the support of destiny to help you bring a new child into this world, even if only a crea-tive baby or adoption of a new pet. The choice is always yours, Gemini. The only caveat in the love department is not to lose touch with your friends by putting all of your eggs in the love bas-ket. Your social circle is starting to miss you and your buddies could totally use some quality time before another year goes by. Finding the balance is never easy or fun, but friends are every-thing.
Career
You're finally feeling unfettered and fancy free in the work department, Gemini. All of the pressure and obstacles you encountered in 2014 should now be put to rest. The only exception comes between late June and September when Saturn backs up into your work zone to help you tie up any loose ends or unfinished business. Be sure you have your daily schedule running like a well-oiled machine by then. That gives you the first half of the year to get your act in tiptop shape, Twinstar. Your creativity is totally off the charts between the ongoing presence of the North Node of Fate amping up your playful side and Jupiter amping up your mental sector with big ideas. Oh, and add the ongoing Neptune brilliance lighting up the top of your chart in the most visionary and inspired way possible. It's nearly impossible for you not to create something gorgeous, glamorous and innovative. You've also got the breakthrough energy of Uranus in your sector of friends and collaborators to assure that you attract some radical thinkers to keep your career path fresh and ahead of the curve. The more you're willing to take risks with your long-term goals and dreams in 2015, the more generous the payback.
June (your birthday season) jumpstarts a crazy productive spell for you, Gemini. You'll have Mars powering up your stars and then Jupiter moving to the base of your chart in August to give you another dose of inspiration and luck. Late September is definitely a total work surge for you when Mars and Jupiter join forces to turn you into nothing short of a creative factory. If you've gotten a bit ahead of yourself, you can use the Venus Retrograde phase to slow down and catch up with your soul. That sweet slowdown comes just in time for summer. If you have failed to take a proper summer vacay in years (which is most likely the naughty case), no more excuses, Twins. This is your year to mix the business with the pleasure for a change. You'll have enough success to finance a killer vacation. What are you waiting for? Get on the horn and put some se-rious leisure time on the 2015 calendar before all of the space gets filled up. You know that when you blink, you're fully booked.
GEMINI (MAY 22 - JUNE 21)
For nine months of this year, the intense presence of Saturn will be moving through your sector of relationships.
With a potent Solar Return at the start of the year in your sector of possessions, you can find yourself being uncharacteristically much more focused on any commitments you have or taking new romantic opportunities more seriously.
Understanding what you really need in relationships is key to this but also of being conscious of what other people require from you.
Professional hopes are boosted from March 20 for the following six months and you will have an opportunity to demonstrate your flair and creativity and make an impact on decision makers.
Work pressures can be greater across the summer months, but if you adapt your fitness regime and diet you can cope with this well. You could also find yourself more serious about your resources all through this year. You can do very well in any business or enterprise where you use your communicational skills well or through involvement with technology.
As Jupiter moves in August, more homely considerations can occupy your thinking. This can spur you to grow your family, or bring news of a happy celebration from someone else in your clan.
You might even find yourself looking for a new home with a possibility of moving before the year comes to a close, and this can be aided by the Solar Eclipse of October, and Jupiter’s transforming angle to the planet of change, Pluto.
Emotions, prejudices, or unresolved issues from the past come up in your interactions with others now, and you may not be very objective. This is a good time to speak up and clear the air of any grievances you have been holding on to for some time. Personal subjects are the topic of discussion now. Reminiscing, remembering, daydreaming about and reflecting on the past is likely.
Tonight I dreamt I was in a large bus/ truck/ expedition black jeep like thing and we were in Bermuda. You were driving and we were looking for the South Hampton Princess Hotel where you were taking me for my surprise. [Established is that it is summer time and we are vacationing there together as a couple] We made a left turn on this steep hill and pulled into the grassy spot so cars can pass and you can call the planner [Ms.____] on your cell phone. You had your left arm on my chair kinda [remember they drive on the other side of the road therefore the steering wheel is on the right side of the car] and I proceeded to kiss your wrist and inner wrist [why not?] while you called whoever Ms.___ is to have them text you directions. [Meanwhile I know how to get there and am willing to drive and direct you but of course stubbornness kicks in and you don't accept my help]. I am content being in the car/ jeep/ truck thing with you [dressedin a white cottony dress with red flowers on it and you had on a tie with the same pattern and some cargo shorts] We end up stopping on a Bronx street street named Bronx and the man who is there asked about Mr. & Mrs. Cox (they knew them and knew me) and wanted to make small talk about how I was doing and haven't seen me since I worked in the bakery. You were being polite, but was very anxious to get me to the hotel. We ended up driving on South Shore road and looking at the blue water and you were holding my hand. I recall saying are you sure, to which you gave me a stupid ass look like well of course. As you lean in to kiss, I wake up...
some thoughts.... 1) Who the hell are you? Black Man, yes, but distinguising features? No. 2) Why am I so comfortable with you? Like I know you and trust you 3) Why is it I can remember sunlight and patterns in my dress but exactly what you look like is crazy. 4) Why is there a party at a hotel for me- what did I accomplish or what is the reason for celebration? 5) Mr & Mrs Cox- they play a role (parental maybe?) and random ole man asking about them/ me. 6) Street nammed Bronx in Bermuda... no. 7) Me being driven around by someone (letting go of control)... somehow this must be a dream.
Gemini, Daily Extended Horoscope, Tuesday, July 1st:
You started talking yesterday -- well, talking more as of yesterday -- and you haven't quite been able to stop yet. Fortunately, you've had an admiring, appreciative audience who hasn't wanted you to stop, not even long enough to take a breath. But you're tired now. Your batteries are beginning to wind down. Better make some witty closing comments and find a place to hide out -- with one last admirer, of course.
so what is great about this horoscope is that there was enormously great conversations to be had on the vacation with the ladies in Aruba. We chatted and laughed and the most craziest things but what was the best was the affirmations we shared with each other, and what the ladies said about me. One of the more memorable sayings about me as Modern Day Perfection- because of the way I carry myself and the way I am- who I am being. I loved that they saw me. They were able to see me.
So
I am sore today from the challenges of yesterday, and that is a very good thing. Last week, the conversation with Beks went something like this: B: Let's hang out Me: Ok what we wanna do? B: I dunno brunch/ drinks? Me: Always good, how about a walk? B: Ohh nice, maybe the park? Me: Ohhh how about a hike? B:Sounds good lets check on a nature hike (Later) how about ziplining? Me: Uhhh sure.. #yolo + #insurance = why not..wait...what's the weight limit? (a few hours drive & a safety harness & explanation ropes course) B: totally didn't read the fine print Me: and here I was just coming out for the mimosas ...suffice it to say fun times and crazy business!
The thing about this experience is that the challenge to complete it (and what I can stand/ what I wont do/ what I think my limitations are) are always with us. I mean I am not the greatest fan of heights (or really falling from them) and I am not a fan of having to exude super super balance and cognitive thinking skills while defying death.. but i mean it was fun.
Something I remembered from a previous ropes course is that
#1- If I stop shaking (regain my balance) then yes, the apparatus will regain its balance as well
#2- Trust yourself that I. Can. Do. This
#3- It is OK to be scared, just keep going
#4- Remember to breathe.
feeling like a rock star (haha)
Morale of the story:
"Don't limit your challenges..Challenge your limits"
What is not fitting are my clothes after this cruise I went on with my friends. Leading up to this vacation that was being planned over a year ago has been one of the most stressful times of my life- particularly dealing with work, family, friends, me (and in no particular order)
What is not fitting are my clothes after this cruise I went on with my friends. Leading up to this vacation that was being planned over a year ago has been one of the most stressful times of my life- particularly dealing with work, family, friends, me (and in no particular order)
Home.
Home.
