Recognition

So in the grand scheme of things, this is something that I have wanted for a while. On the bottom is the pic from our Enrollment Management Recognition Breakfast. I was recognized for my contribution to the work in the Financial Aid realm. I mean I guess this is a good thing, this lovely certificate.

The next pic is of my presentation at NASPA- specifically for their Symposium on Financial Literacy. Considering this is something I have been working on for over a year now- the Fin Ed work not the actual presentation, I think it rather cool to go to D.C. and present.

Moving on up in the world, I guess.

Trying to Understand...

So I was having a conversation with 2 coworkers today and apparently my face and demeanor and body language said some things that were not understood- or maybe understood but ignored.

Basically, one was comparing the mundane activities of the job to showing up everyday and shoveling sh*t from behind an elephant. there is no thought to it, just do it. you ca vary your way (over the left shoulder or over the right) or you can vary techniques (like using right versus left hands) but basically there is no thought to it and you are not an integral part of the overall operation- just shovel the sh*t and keep it moving.

Now, while I appreciate some sh*t sometimes, and try not to actively get myself into sh*t at times, trust and believe that my presence on this GOD's good green earth is not here to shovel sh*t [however fabulously I will do it]

so I had questions- such as, "Oh, so you believe your job is shoveling dung?"

Answer: "Yes, but here's why...insert feigned attempt at humor and complementary accolades at times"

me: So you a sh*t shoveler?"

Answer: no, but yes

me: Oh, so you full of sh*t- as in you a connoisseur of ...

Answer: Really...?

me: I mean, I am just trying to understand..

[after a few minutes of me not being amused this ended as I was beginning to get thoroughly amused to be honest]

and then I get this text message:

So I mean, yes I am just trying to save my good good words for those that I need to use them on, and give the shitty words to those that need to be spoken to on that level.

yet they say im hard on folks?

really?

that's all...

coffee thought...

coffee thought...

On the way into work in this lovely fall weather. 

I am thinking about the change of season 

and 

the change of tides 

and 

just change in general- 

not unlike the loose change in my pockets- 

it may make a difference to some 

but as a whole 

a lotta change overall makes big bucks.

Sounds crazed? 

Maybe.

Such is the world we live in...

#First 7 jobs

There is this #first7jobs going around Twitter where folks have listed their first 7 jobs to show there is no one way to reach your ultimate goal. there is no one way to reach the top. there are a series of progressions, side tracks and mis-steps in this road to success and sometimes once a destination is reached, one does not even stop to smell the roses (or assess the success) and it is on to the next one.
At any rate, I find it interesting what I chose to list as my first 7 because they all overlapped and were all meaningful experiences in the makings of me.

First 7 jobs

Babysitter

Assist manager Jamaican bakery

Cashier- Lord & Taylor

Work study- MC financial aid

Counselor - OFA NYU

Senior counselor NYU

AD NYU

soo what's next?

coffee thought...

coffee thought...
Back from the NASPA conference in New Orleans, Louisiana. While the
conference was intriguing and informative and really made me think
about the possibilities of a terminal degree for me (paging Dr. Bean
anyone?) it also made me examine some of the biases and expectations
of this Student Affairs field that I am in.
The other night when I couldn't sleep or really speak to anyone about
my issues (any of the 1,023 of em)- it really made me wonder if I
wonder too much or if I over think things pertaining to the many things beyond
my control.
So I think about my journey/ path into higher education and how I got
here. Some know my story, most don't. Cool. But now that I am here- 15 years later- where am I? Am I where I thought I could be? Am I where I wanted to be? Am I where I am going to end up? Or am I just here?
So examination and reflection periodically is key to constant forward motion. ( I mean you have to know where you are to know how to move from there, right? This is precisely why on a map there is a you are here marker) and with that being said, I think of a bow and arrow- to properly shoot a bow and arrow you have to take aim, position yourself- retract the arrow and release. Did you hear me? You pull the arrow back to go forward. SO where do I go back (as in go back to school?/ do I take a lesser position somewhere else with a pay cut?) to go forward?? And what does forward look like?

Hell, where am I and are we there yet at the same damn time??

that's all...

Black Heirlooms- short doc

So tonight I sat on a panel discussing wealth and the African American community- specifically how first year college students identify and can access and utilize it. What are these conversations like and how do we all bridge the gap (economically and socially etc). We screened a film called 'black heirlooms' and it was a great conversation starting point about how you begin to discuss intergenerational wealth and passing that (well, defining that and then understanding what it is then passing it down) and having them talks. You be surprised (and the again maybe not) about the lack of knowledge and thought that we as a people culture and race do pass down (intentionally) and the things that we pass down unintentionally. Consciousness is key with these actions. Speaking about estate planning and have talks about what your wishes are- with yourself as well as with your possessions are important. I was very very happy to be asked to contribute to the conversation- I thought I did well.
Well, what am I feeling now? I am feeling a bit of relief that I did that and a bit of accomplishment and yeah. Proud moment.
Then again (on the other side of me) I am feeling
A little sad that no one cared to come see me speak (there goes that support I be looking for) and no one was there to encourage me or critique me or applaud for me or anything (for me)
BUT
I know that God sees me thru and watched over me. I also know my parents witnessed this and were present in their own way. Such is life. Even in a happy point I look for the other shoe to drop.

Black bags

You know what I realize I don't have? I don't have a black bag
Not a black garbage bag, but a plain black leather pocketbook.
I have orange, grey, green, and an assortment of other colors but the black bag eludes me.
Why? What does that say about me? Does it really say anything as one not owning a black bag has yet to be classified as a criminal offense- but seriously why?
Has a suitable black bag eluded me?
Have I not found one that compliments me?
Have I not found one that I could carry just about everyday and still be satisfied with.
Have I looked for one ? That is the question of the day

This is a tricky topic as I figured with the other bags I choose to carry they came to me in my life when I needed and/ or wanted them.
 Like feeling sassy? Orange!
 It's not easy being green- throw on the green bag and show me how it's done.
But these bags 'appeared' when I needed them and I made it work.
Not a black bag!
Have unconsciously shunned the black bags out there in the world!
Does my personality beg for more snazzy than a black bag can give?
Is that my perception of the black bag!
Gasp!
Anywho, am I making too much of it?
You know me, I tend to over think things many things many many things...
Suffice it to say in
ON A SEARCH
For the perfect black bag
For me
Because I don't share
that's all...

Opportunities…Pharcyde

My dear, my dear, my dear, you do not know me but I know you very well…

In the connotation of words and words that are specifically written by me- it would be wise to not let your negative view of every action (or word) dictate how you interpret the words I use.  Because by your assumption, you assume the worst in people. You assume the worst in the thoughts and actions they have intended for you.  And by virtue of looking for something (the negative assumption) you do indeed tend to find it.

Back story:

Life is going along- folks are extremely unhappy with their current position and employment and lot in life. OK. An ‘opportunity’ presents itself for relocation to another state- I say go for it! Ask for more $ and take stock in what it can do for you and what you can do there. Back comes an email with the if’s, and’s and but’s as to why it will not work and why this relocated place is not a place they can conveniently move to the next level of their career and ultimate bliss. So I reply:

smh smh--- 

i love love love the excuses!
how muck work have you done in NY for your ultimate bliss thus far to make it not worth it to start again in relocated place? considering there is a need for what you want to do many places (and a conclave of rich people who maintain residences in relocated place and ny) there is a potential market down there as well- don't count them out. i do see your point.
BUT
considering you said you are not going to be making more money no matter how you slice it- welcome back to the to the rotten apple. 
i just know if I am offered an opportunity and don't take it -i have learned from past missed opportunities not to do that again. 
i think about the first transformers movie when the dude says to the chick (about getting in the car):

Fifty years from now, when you're looking back at your life, don't you want to be able to say you had the guts to get in the car!!!

But all that aside-- speaking of your resume-- you would know if that movement (from where you are to another place not making more $ then back to where you are if it comes to that) would/could  look negative on the resume. i think it would show your willingness to try something out in a different office (and can be explained that you went to help start up the office in relocated place and your exceptional knowledge is what made that opportunity available for you.  
sooo yeah everything is explainable. but if this opportunity is not something that is favorable to you (like in a tangible way) then it aint for you. 
simple.

This person was thrown by my use of the word: excuses and took offense to that because everyone who uses that word means it in a negative way and they are not making excuses. Of course I am not everyone and happen to google Merriam Webster:

 

In my whole summation of the situation that was presented to me, I gave my thoughts based on the context of the conversations we have had and the current information available. I specifically referenced the points that were made and concluded that if this opportunity is not favorable for you then it isn’t for you… yet somehow the reaction to that was “duh”.

 

And then said I didn’t answer their question.

Right.

Que Pharcyde, enter Oportunity as "she",  carry on. 

Conversation

With the brother... Sometimes I wonder.

coffee thought...

Miriam Makeba

Good Morning!!

Happy Monday!

 

 

happy to see this lovely goodle doodle celebrating the 81st birthday of Miriam Makeba.

just lovely.

busy day ahead as I am completing a presentation that is due tomorrow

 and it is wrecking my brain.

Also, you know when opportunities present themselves

and you go for it only to see another one out there t

hat would have been just as good for you?

I dunno--

makes me doubt my first choice sometimes.

eh... keep it moving

 

that's all....

*google doodle courtesy of google*

coffee thought...

let's start with the horoscope:

Gemini Horoscope for September 11, 2012

Money issues weigh heavily on your mind right now, although there's no reason to be nervous about it. You are merely more aware of the reality of your financial situation, which is a very good thing. The more accurate you are about where you stand now, the better prepared you are to get to where you need to be. So if you are feeling more thrifty or conservative than you usually do, this isn't a panic-based reaction to a shortage of funds. But listen to your gut.

sooo listening to my gut is supposed to keep me on the financial up & up? I think part of my gut got me into this problem (cupcakes, anyone? $58.00 tea's? swarkovski jewels) to name a few things...

anywho...

I am on the budget friendly- svelt friendly kind of mood, therefore I am eating oatmeal in the mornings and benefiting 2 ways- looser pants (yay!) and not spending upwards of $7.00 a day on breakfast (yay! Yay!) however the whole point to this experiment of thrifiness is to pocket said $- to which I have not because I cannot seem to figure out where it goes... and it goes and it goes....

today...is 9/11/12.

several thoughts occur to me on this day,

and every 9/11 that passes.

there are too many thoughts to write down,

too many thoughts to try to forget...

too many thoughts to leave unsaid

because to say them NOW would be...

useless.

My thougths will remain inside,

simply put..

I will never forget...

particularly because of these thoughts

that's all...

more nail polish...

a couple of things...

 First, I think I may have an addiction to nail polish or could be the fumes of the nail polish but I mean after I cleaned my desk of the colors I previously had here I still 'seem' to mass a few more colors here for good measure. Sad, this nail polish addiction of mine (could there be a place I go like a nail polish anonymous group or something??)

anywho

Second- I am soooooo happy that I got this color here Rainbow Connection by O.P.I in celebration of the Muppet movie coming out this fall (November 23?)- This color is a Limited Edition meaning once it is sold out it is sold out (along with the snazzy red color I had on last week which was getting ms piggy with it).   I mean who does not love the Muppet's? who does not love the song rainbow connection sung by the lovable Kermit the frog? who doesn't love Jim Henson- genius of his time/ creator of these creatures and who does not love the color green??

Anywho... I am just saying...

[and that my dear friends is a true couple of things...]

No dough

"I am having an out of money experience" - tee shirt I considered purchasing but thought better of it seeing as how that would really put me in the red.

Three hundred 3 days

So it seems like I am on a spending spree--I mean I intend to save. I intend to be responsible. I intend not to blow thru all my cash like an obnoxious pimp in a stripper club on the first of the month. But people do say the road to hell is paved with good intentions...
let's do the math:
Wednesday- I took out $40.00 because we were having a final fare-the-well for a co-worker in the office and since she was a great worker I showed up for this. $40 later (mind you this is why I despise going in groups cause people all of a sudden cant count or don't remember that 'extra' margarita they had) I am $40 in the hole for a $10 meal. yes, I'm the sucker.

Thursday-- busy spending day. $5.00 coffee (morning indulgence)
 + $15.00 eyebrows and necessary de-fuzzing (this apparently is non- negotiable)
 + $12.00 Cosi (tea & sandwich lunch special)
+ $12.00 cab ride (since the temperature dropped & I was standing on the corner waiting for a bus dead of night I figure I should be able to take the cab, hell stop being so cheap!)
+ 50.00 hair (godchild washed, conditioned, re-cut & styled & I tipped her- yeah I know a bit much for short hair but trying to help the young-ins)
+ 3.00 late night tea & conversation run
so far $137  G O N E

Friday- was a happy day (since it is the end of the week) $7.00 breakfast + $7.00 crepe + $20.00 to give to the office because another co-worker is getting married and we all went in on a gift for her (and this person I have worked with for and is a good worker as well--->side note with all the birthday celebrations/ farewell shindigs/ wedding & baby showers we have in this office that I have contributed to AND AM STILL SINGLE therefore have no financial gain from them folks-->all I am saying is that I am gonna throw myself a party and register for gifts [ala sex and the city] cause really who celebrates the single gals??? i digress...)
+ $20.00 chicken dinner (with TD for some down home great conversation/ bonding catching up and relaxing after a looooong week. sometimes good convo+ a good chicken & homemade sweet tea is all you need)
Overall $191 G O N E

and all I  have left in my pocket is a mere $24.00

After careful consideration and calculation it seems I am missing 109 dollars. WTF could have happened in like 3 days to make me spend 300?? I need an intervention.

*Rechecking the bank statement I only took out 220 (smart)
that still doesn't excuse the spending but I guess i can re-title this entry as loosing my mind as well as my money...

Sent from my iPhone

such a paradox:

Sitting on this #2 train and there seemed to be two Caucasian fellows looking like two regular dudes. Next thing you know they break out into Shakespeare on the train and do a scene from Romeo and Juliet complete with killing, laying on the floor, fight scene and poison (in the form of a water bottle--fitting). It was utterly cool and I was impressed (they earned my dollar), stated where you can see further performances (in some little theater off off off off Broadway) & got off train at 96 street. But who gets on next-- a Hispanic dude who is asking for some change and anything we can do to help him out. No song no dance no prose, no nothing. After the performance of the other folks, this dude is getting nothing and I think to myself -such a paradox--how some people 'work' for theirs and some people just ask.

coffee thought...

So I decided to buy this lovely think coffee cup so I can be all environmentally conscious + be all economically conscious as you get a discount if you use a carry cup on the purchase of the coffee. I know, I know.. all socially responsible I am- applause please. (now, if only i could cut the 2.25 per day coffee habit I have to something more affordable and free [water?] then I would really be fiscally responsible.) Alas... not.

But on another note of the semi fiscal responsible way-- last week I decided to get renters insurance for the items in my  apartment. Yes, I think that is the 'adult' decision & responsible thing to do because really who can afford to replace all the things you have in your house if [God forbid] there is a fire or theft or any of the other things that are out there. So I am now covered fully for replacement if things happen [let's hope nothing happens]. But in doing this it brought down my car insurance by the exact amount of the renters policy (so same $$ out my pocket but more things just in cases).

Speaking of car... guess who made that last payment on my baby?? yup, came out the account on 7/15/11 so here I am [again] at the place where I OWN a vehicle. Really? Own. Like can road trip up if I needed. Like can sell if I wanted. Like can have sex in the backseat if the mood hits me. Oh the possibilities are endless. [well some things still won't be happening in my car but the possibilities are endless].  At any rate, this means I can fully concentrate on getting back on the wonderful road of more fiscal goodness- paying off the credit cards that I continually go to & then saving for the next adventure in my life.

Oh the places I will go...

that's all

coffee thought...

Thursday Coffeethought
So today pre-coffee I will have a little rant:
Today's topic-

Why can't people just do their flicking job?

Yes I said it. Their job.
Apparently at one point in life you applied for it, wanted it, and strive to do it.
You got hired. Great.
 Now, here you are 2 weeks, 6 months, and 5 years and you are in here just skating by, floating on and not even working in some sense. What is maddening is that NO ONE forces you to do this. No one holds a whip over you or locks you in a room.
You get compensated. You get a paycheck. You are supposed to do your job for as long as you are given this task and yet you fall short AND want to complain because this is not your vocation. whose fault is that?
You use your time here in the everyday aspect to foster the other things you want to do in life (great- everyone has goals dreams and a life outside of work that just does wonders for their soul [if they don't then they need to]) but does your actual work slip because you are not working at work? really? how about you do your job--Your job you know the thing you get paid to do suffers.
and along them lines...
I think I am going to have to start monitoring the tone of my employees. This is not the DMV. You do not get to speak to people just anyway. They are calling here, stopping in for help- even if this means they did not read the things that were sent to them earlier in or you repeated yourself ten times. No, this does not mean you are there to be abused or demeaned - no one I but you have got to get it together. act like you are working in a customer service environment (there's a shocker-- you are) and be helpful. treat them as you want to be treated when you are seeking help or are unclear of what is going on.

i am just saying.

that's all.

Doctors visit 3/8/11 10:30am

130/80 BP- 80 is my normal bottom. I am not sure if that is good or bad considering i am on mess for that.

Weight__{less than an average baby elephant @ birth which is 232} wait. I need to loose more. yeah.

Wanna get a HIV test? It takes 20 minutes for the results. Ummm errrrr- was my response to the kind Hispanic nurse. Sure. She was like oh it's always good to know.
Then why oh why am I nervous to get an HIV test? I mean we all good, right? I mean seeing as how I have never done anything and nothing with no one you would think I am all free and clear, right (unless I was born this way ala gaga) Seeing as how i know i have test anxiety this is not a good look. You would also think that having this knowledge would make how I operate in life better- like more knowledgeable. But you know me- you know I worry about meteors gracefully falling from the sky and crashing into the earth effectively killing us all (Armageddon much?) you know i worry about failing at things I have no interest in attempting (Just in case i get the urge to try said things i wouldn't want to be a failure at them, ya know?) You know I worry especially about the things I want to turn out right (such as love, happiness, commitment, success etc).

So I worry.

Update #1: 3 needle sticks in a attempt to find a vein and there is no blood. What the hell? Am I bloodless? If you cut me apparently I will not bleed for they cannot find any veins that run thru me. It is utterly hilarious as I have not had anything to eat (this is supposed to be a fasting glucose) and am feeling like I am gonna faint. It is now noon and I have been up and about and active since 8. with no food from the prior 6 pm eating hour. This is so not good.

Update #2: I am HIV negative. So I know where I stand and how to continue that way. sheesh, I guess I passed. good thing, right.

Update #3: After 2 more needles, it is now time to proclaim "I am no pin-cushion". At this time I am like DONE. Nice Hispanic nurse politely puts 5 random ban-aids on me. 2 bugs bunny, a daffy duck, one flesh-tone (not my flesh-tone) and one of an inderminable character which is rather frightening.

Update #4: They send me to this place where they were supposed to be better at this, apparently not so much as I sit here for 2 hours effectively making me late for work even tho I took a 1/2 vacation day and still no blood. The utterly rude and damn near incompetent nurse practitioner there was upset that I was going to faint because of no food (at 2pm now) and after an announcement of "Me no think we seeing more of youth today right now" [translation-->they are not taking any more people] I was like give me my paperwork so I can leave. She was mad because "me deh pon already stick the sin-ting pon de sheet there, so me cannn give it back" [translation--> she already put her stickers on my sheet here, so she can't give it back] I told her I don't care where she put her stickers, since they did not see me I need to leave out of here {in my head i was thinking she lucky she old & i am weak at this moment cause I would have removed the stickers for her}. I waited while she carelessly ripped the stickers off the form and gave it back to me. So I went to grab food (COSI TBM cause i was starving - not the 1/2 but the whole) and went back to work. cause work is never done!!!

and guess who has to fast AGAIN to have to do this AGAIN so they can figure out what is wrong with me ?

New & improved

This is our new & improved sign for the office. Snazzy. The old sign was discolored and faded by the years in the hot sun so this is a 'proper' use of funds (in my humble opinion) that didn't go to my paycheck.--even the font is different which brings me to my next point did you know that NY is spending 27 million on replacing street signs/ names so that instead of it reading "RIGHTEOUS AVE" it will now read "Righteous Ave"- grammatically correctly <--(as those last 2 words were not). Who the flick cares? You could think of so many better ways money could be spent yet this is what our budget is spent on.

Do you remember not so long ago I was writing on the fact we were 'dumbing down' ourselves (or people were making us dumber by virtue of some of the changes to the street signs) & now "they" (they being the same people as before who thought to change the walk/don't walk signs to a red hand/white man combo) say we are not intelligent enough to figure out "HOE AVE" is still "Hoe Ave"-- proper use of capitalization does not make a HOE less of a Hoe.

(Yes, there is a Hoe Ave in the Bronx...just another one of the many wondrous things here)

Aww man, recession!

I took the extra walk from my current office to go up to this deli (located by my old office where i had a view/ office door, etc.....) where they made the best tuna sandwiches on wheat ever (next to homemade this was good) and was good money ($4.50) for samich & pickle! I get there hustling cause I got to make it to my therapy appointment and gasp! It's closed! Now I was just there like July but man oh man they are closed... I hope Maria (who made my coffee excellently) was able to find other better jobs...But this leaves me on the hunt for lunch....stay tuned!