monday woes

how you like i got up

went to the gym 

worked out

sweated 

got home 

showered

left 

EARLY

apparently you diddn't work out hard enough cause you is too much right now

took the train-- gave my seat to a pregnant dude

took the train all the way to BK 

got out and got damn breakfast 

entered my office at 8:24

sat

turned on computer preparing to eat food. 

looked at the calendar0

i belong in manhattan since i switched with virginia

tsk tsk tsk

exactly

sooo packed up 

and was then 14 minutes late for work 

it is a no win situation 

coffee thought...

coffee thought...

It amazes me that even tho the NYC MTA trains 

go one direction per track 

(like uptown is going up) 

and they ain't making no left turns 

or right turn down the tracks- 

WHY IS THERE ALWAYS TRAIN TRAFFIC AHEAD?

Like WTF we are going one way? 

That is not traffic that is a blatant lie

And you are voting to raise the fares to $3.00 per ride? 

Like dude - really? 

This is what I pay for?

I remember the days 

when a ride was $1.25 

and folks were complaining 

it was going up to $1.50 

and the service still sucked. 

The trains still went in the one direction on the tracks 

and there was still train traffic ahead. 

So riddle me this

What am I doing?

that's all...

coffee thought...

coffee thought...

Today being the 4th day of the year I decided to rise and shine earlier than normal in an effort to be healthy - working on the wealthy and wise parts but still. I didn't make it to the gym this am because tiredness creeps in and seeps thru your body at the most inconsistent times.
I hop the shower and dress and get to the train by 7 am. Miracle that it is I am moving right along to be at work before 8:20am. Well- as I sat between borough hall and ___ street for 25 minutes my kind immediately went to what the hell is going on and I hope everyone is alright.
A train jumped the stopping blocks and derailed. Over 100 people hurt- hopefully none life threatening.
It is always something in NY.
Pray for them.

that's all...

coffee thought ...6/16/16 8:08am

Monday's thinking

Who the fuck do you think I am?

(Listening to Beyoncé)

Something about this song is resonating with me

 (the funky beat)

 the drums, 

the lyrics:

The repetitive let it be let it be

And the when you hurt me

You hurt yourself you hurt yourself

But when you love me

You love yourself you love yourself

such a great song... 

Coffee thought two

Coffee thought two...

There are some times that I think I was not meant to be
Here
Cause some of the realities of these everyday situations just baffle me.

coffee thought...

The thing about people is
They want to be respected
 but do not respect others.
This older woman is all up on
 this younger woman who is sitting down
 and the older chick has the nerve to be annoyed.
The younger woman was like (to the older woman)
you are annoying
and it is truth
 cause she is
but at the end of the day
she (older chick) didn't touch her or anything.
Older woman is just one of them folks who will do ad be as she pleases
which is just not a considerate person.
Yet she wants to be treated like she isn't annoying.
 It is utterly ridiculous.
and while this is none of my business
it is annoying as fuck to me
that's all...

coffee thought...

Just been going thru a lot of emotions these past few days.
 Trying to find my peace of mind and my direction...
 Not that I'm lost cause I am still going forward
(I think)
but just a clearer road.
Today's coffee-less thought involves this commute
 (a follow up for yesterday)
and the lack of service the MTA truly gives.
 And the lack of flying fucks they give as we'll as you are literally trapped at their will
(and train traffic ahead when there is nothing ahead)
unless they count the rats crossing the subway rails as traffic which would be utterly humane of them.
Anywho...
Still trying to make it to work and ur is 8:57 and I am still in Manhattan.
Good thing I stayed until 9 last night.
 Whoo hoo.
that's all...

coffee thought...

This commute is beyond the commute from hell.

 I left my house early.

Like before 7:30.

It is now 9:12

and

I am still not in Brooklyn.

 Whatever happened on 14th street:

#1 - hopefully no one died

#2- better be good to delay trains downtown and uptown

#3- someone better get me some coffee

that's all...

So

So

On this commute today

 this woman 

just comes on the train 

and stands right under me. 

Literally. 

After she ran her ass into the train,

 damn near pushing folks out the way

to get a position that 

she ain't realize that she was right under the air conditioning unit.

And her arse is cold

and so she decides to move 

literally right under me 

 Yet my ass is supposed to be mashed up this whole ride. 

Somehow I think not.

and i have not had my coffee...

coffee thought...

This morning already needs to be a 2 cup day but since at 8:49 am I am currently in transit to work (and late as we haven't even made it to 42nd yet) and I already had a text argument with the siblings, and it is hotter than Hades out here, and breathing is a struggle, I think it best just to concentrate on standing still as this train moves and hope for the best.
that's all...

coffee thought...

Woke up crazy dizzy this morning
(Like I was twirling in circles in my dreams or something)
And no, I didn't drink last night
But woah this is not a good feeling
A) while standing still everything is moving
B) while walking I feel as if I am not walking a straight line
C) on a moving train-
D) later this afternoon on a boat (equilibrium is key)
Lord, pray for me
And deliver some coffee
that's all...

coffee thought...

Maybe it's a skittle...

(Or lack of coffee thoughts)
I got nothings- which is 50% true and 50% false cause I have 100% issues that are streaming in my head but 0% interest in spelling them out right on this train ride here... So first and foremost in my head is securing something warm so that I can focus on what's really important...

Oh, and someone lost their 'blue pill' on the train today... Hopefully it's just a temporary misplacement in the Matrix of it all... Hopefully it is not one of them 'other blue pills' because it is way too early in the morning to think about all that...

that's all...

coffee thought...

Had a few good cups of coffee lately and of course a few good thoughts.

1) the amount of work I do versus the rate of pay is severely lacking- I must change that
2) the folks I am currently interacting with (for the most part) are really some movers and shakers. I throughly enjoy some (some) of the interactions.
3) co authored an article for possible publication. Something that was a first (being asked to be a co authority on something is kind of cool) and even if it is not published I think the work is great.
4) witnessed the beginnings of a true scholar- like was truly (and am) impressed with his current achievements and future endeavors. It's interesting (that's all)
5) thinking (more seriously) about future work (goals), current achievements and stuff like that. Jury is still out.
6) looking for love (probably still is all the wrong places since I still ain't found it but I ain't in jail so that's good)
7) work..working hard never hardly working... it is definitely taking and making me stressed. Needs a massage stat.
8) my personal writing has its ebbs and flows- sometime not flowing at all and sometimes keeping me up at night with all the things i am trying to write but just ain't right.
9) family... sigh
10) 'in search of satisfaction'
that's all...

Day 10- 30 for 30 [National Poetry Month]

Oh MTA
Why do you never go my way?
Why is it I am waiting for you
Like salvation too
Waiting for you to pick me up?
Why is it that we forget get stuck?
Same old lies- train traffic ahead
But alas no! There is nothing ahead
But empty promises
Of progress...
You are like a relationship gone bad
A long time ago
Yet I can't let go
I have to stay the course
Trying to enjoy this ride
But my disdain I can't hide
You don't ever go my way
And this shit ain't ok
You apologize for my inconvenience
But you don't really mean that
You just gonna do what you gonna do
And until I win mega millions I am gonna have to accept you
But this shit ain't ok
Oh MTA
Why don't you ever go my way?

coffee thought...

If this is coffee thought and I have not had my morning coffee does that mean I am really without thought? 

Or just without thoughts pertaining to coffee? 

What if I am thinking about coffee and how I would have that this morning once I arrive at work versus the random stuff I think about as I drink coffee at work? 

Is it all just a fascinating rouse?
At any rate here I am on my way to work listening to some Aretha (queen of soul) Franklin singing about a 'Do Right Man" listen here- that is just about what I need right now- along with 'RESPECT' and 'Dr. Feelgood' to 'Save Me' and Makes me 'feel Ike a natural woman'--not a 'chain of fools'. Also, to know that he's 'all I need to get by' that 'bridge over troubled water'.

Yes. 

I need him to Ummm umm hmm...'I say a little prayer', and 'think'...cause 'I'm daydreaming 'that we 'rock steady' and 'I'm in love' but 'ain't no way' cause 'I never loved a man the way that I loved you'. So 'share your love' with me cause I wanna say 'baby I love you'

Yummy.. Someone has an aromatic cup of Joe on this train. Baby I'm definitely in love.
That's all.

coffee thought...

coffee thought...
It's been a minute and considering we are winding down to the end I the year and folks are reliving what they have done in 2013 and who they have lost in 2013 and who they have gained in 2013 in preparation for 2014 it strikes me as _____ as to what has been accomplished. Somehow this time last year I was not sure of all the things that were going on and never expected the things that have happened. It is a good thing (fingers still crossed) and hopefully an even greater thing.
So what has happened? Travel. Friends lost and gained. Love (ok not really love but an extreme infatuation) curiosity, growth , discernment, happiness, life! I mean in there was many challenges/ and opportunities for stretching the perceived limitations of me. Some things worked out. Others didn't- and that's ok (I have since learned).



Sent from my iPhone

Singing some LH today...

 

Let me be patient, let me be kind
Make me unselfish without bein' blind
Though I may suffer, I'll envy it not
And endure what comes,

'cause he's all that I got

And tell him

Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
And it'll be alright

And tell him
Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
It'll be alright

Now I may have faith, to make mountains fall
But if I lack love, then I am nothin' at all
I can give away, everything I possess
But left without love then I have no happiness
I know I'm imperfect (I know I’m imperfect)

and not without sin (and not without sin)
But now that I'm older all childish things end

And tell him

Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
It'll be alright

Tell him
Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
It'll be alright

I'll never be jealous
And I won't be too proud
'Cause love is not boastful
Ooh and love is not loud

Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
Everything is gonna, is gonna be alright
Ooh, ooh, yeah yeah, oh yeah

Now I may have wisdom and knowledge on earth
But if I speak wrong, ooh, then what is it worth?
See what we now know is nothing compared
To the love that was shown when our lives were spared

And tell him

Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
It'll be alright

Tell him
Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
It'll be alright

Coffee thought...

Been on a morning music kick that has truly helped me cope with the commute.
Today's songs include a gospel medley and one of moms favorite songs 'you raise me up' which makes me think about her all the time because truly (as a wonderful mother does) she raises you up to be the best you can be and makes sure you are aware if you potential and makes sure if she don't know she tried...
I am glad I had MY MOTHER.
I got tearey eyed but no tears fell....
Is this progress or is this just the way things are nowadays?

that's all...

coffee thought...

It is 7:41 and I am more productive than I have ever been on a weekday.
I am on the train after I got up at 5:40 (thank you insomnia)
Showered,
did my hair,
outfit together,
made lunch!! (And remembered to bring it to work...)
moved the car,
took out recycling and garbage.
Damn.
I think I am done for the day...and I have not even gotten to work.

coffee thought...

8:48 am

Hmmm...

Listening to D'angelo's

"how does it feel"

with a sexy sexy dread

staring at you

is definitely

how all Monday mornings

should start.

Fluck a coffee thought.

that's all...

wink wink