Hair Stories

So this is me...

before and after..

working on the bangs again

(thanks to Mane Motive)...

I mean why not

(it's been a minute without them)

 and she tapered the ends...

Why not end the year with a bang

(in more ways than one..he he he)

hahaha

(before/after.. flat ironed out)

back view...

Coffee thought...

Preparing for the annual

 'Very Bean Thanksgiving Feast'

and let me tell you what a time this will be.

Considering these factors:

Bro #2 and his woman will be contributing the asparagus and cranberry sauce.

Bro #1 and his woman (yes he has a live in girlfriend) will be baking the turkey and contributing some unknown other accompaniment.

Jewels will be there cooking away-

she was asked by the boys to make ham again

and bringing my lovely Juniors cheesecake.

I will be making the sweet potatoes,

cornbread stuffing

and veggies

and gran mariner carrot cake.

 I think there will be 2 turkey's

and a roast beef as well...

plus loads of little hours'd erves.

 And drinks.

 Lots to drink.

Cause I will need to be drinked to make this work.

I am also inviting to the home to a few strays

 (bro #3 & random one).

 Should be very interesting to say the least... 

Luck be upon us

 (and good cooking juju as well)

that's all...

coffee thought...

It is 7:41 and I am more productive than I have ever been on a weekday.
I am on the train after I got up at 5:40 (thank you insomnia)
Showered,
did my hair,
outfit together,
made lunch!! (And remembered to bring it to work...)
moved the car,
took out recycling and garbage.
Damn.
I think I am done for the day...and I have not even gotten to work.

weekend manicure

doing my manicure on the cheap considering i have a plethora of nail polish and an abundance of time.

(in reality this is procrastination at its best as I was supposed to be organizing my home and letting go of some items of clothing...somethings went--- more on that laters)
 *colors are lisi nail polish (singularity) and wet & wild white with sephora traffic stopper copper on top.

Thanksgiving....

Thanksgiving

Giving thanks-

something that I feel I do often

therefore the actual day of thanksgiving

 is a formality of specialty foods and deserts.

Tradition says

we should have

 turkey

 stuffing

cranberry sauce

turnips & cheese

carrot cake

 apple pie

and many other fun filled desserts

 (most laced with liquor. heyyy)

 Family time

complete

with some family drama

and alcoholic spirits

 that turn the most liked aunt

into a raging lunatic.

 (or in my house)

the most liked me

into a raging lunatic

 (me)

Ahhh the good old days

Let the festivities begin.

Happy holidays!

GW Bridge

random:

today, 80 years ago the GW bridge was opened to traffic connecting NY & NJ and making the start of major commutability (my word). One random night, Bro#2 & I were watching some documentary on the making of the bridge and basically reasons why they design is what it is. Something about crossing this bridge to NJ to me means 'Road Trip'. As a kid anytime we were headed that way (south I-95) it meant adventure, intrigue and mommy or daddy driving.
Let's also take a look at the days we (dad & us) used to take mom to work at her K-Mart corporation job in North Bergen NJ. Typically in the summer time, on the Thursdays bi-weekly when she got paid, we would take her to work for her 4pm-12am shift. From there, the family would hit up either Roy Rogers or White Castle and some random rock park in NJ [not too far from Berginline Ave ] where we would run, eat and play. Then around 7:30-8pm mom would come out and we would drive her to the bank in NJ to cash her check [yes apparently we were living check to her check], eat some food and drop he back off. Sometimes we would wait around until midnight (what did we do for 4 more hours?) and then Dad would pick mom up and we would drive home. Coming home across the George Washington Bridge at night with all the lights and cars with the original old time yellow license plates meant 'I am going home'. I know exactly how long it should take to get from the GW to Jerome Avenue (sans traffic and any additional construction on roads that seem to never get fixed). I know various shortcuts to take me to my home from any point off the bridge (try me!/ thanks mom).
Later, after Dad passed crossing the GW meant going up towards 'our new home'- Spring Valley NY. Something about a place called Spring Valley was an oxymoron to the arrival of 3 kids from the South Bronx (word.) Once I was able to figure out a bus schedule back to the city *red and tan lines* by the time the bus was crossing the bridge back to Washington Heights NY the excitement of being back on the block was palpable. At that time I put back on the mask I wear to make it on the MTA buses to Grandmas house I go (and the pollution/ violence/ ass foolery Mommy tried to remove us from--here I am willingly spending my hard earned money to go back to. Ahh the youth is wasted on the youth someone once said...) still something about that said 'I am going home'.
Fast forward even later on in life Moi finally being able to drive that bridge myself really really really was an accomplishment (complete with prayer) that I never thought I would be able to do.  Once I was driving myself, really the road trips began in earnest (Philly, VA, AC, NJ, Boston, CT etc)- that was excitement in the fast lane for true...
ahh the memories...So congratulations to the GW for making it to 80 yrs. Let's gear up for the next 80 and the many more road excursions to come.

Inspiring

I am sure I got this from my mom like ages ago, and it has been displayed in my home for just as long, but today I get it.
Thanks Mom.

coffee thought... & horoscope...1/30/11

I made some coffee today- umm yum. just a lazy Sunday, right?
right.. i got to do some laundry, put up the Christmas decorations that I took down after Christmas, cook some dinner (baked chicken, rice & salad), find parking on the correct side of the street (across the street but above the line for the school- really school parking is still in effect with all this damn snow on the ground) prepare for the upcoming snow storms (Tuesday on) i have to finish shredding these old papers/ bills i found (one bag o'junk down- 498 more to go) and then i have committed to writing/ typing more of my fiction INTO the computer so i can make progress of this work (word) then lay out clothes for tomorrow (a more progressive/organized me would take that thru the whole week- alas that is not I) and finally exfoliate which I have planned to do for 4 weeks now. FUN.

oh take a look...

Gemini Horoscope for January 30, 2011

You've worked hard for everything you have. So be proud of your accomplishments ... despite how they may compare to other people's. Everyone is on their own journey through life, and comparing yourself to others doesn't create healthy energy. Today you're challenged to keep a harmonious balance between being generous and conserving your gains. When push comes to shove, it's wiser for you to err on the side of keeping what you have.

...I kind of am feeling that right about now... don't take it personal.

Have a safe, warm & productive Sunday!

that's all.

November 29 8:59 am

November 29 8:59 am
Trying to recover from the interesting holiday that was my thanksgiving. I got out of work early on Wednesday (early being 4 pm) and got a ride home with Noc. It is very cool driving in NYC traffic at semi rush hour the day before a holiday since you get to see all the sights, sounds, and crazies. We picked up his moms who has a strange admiration for nicki minaj (LOL scary) and then it was off to go home where I had to go spend another $55 on food. Mel owes me like $15 on that one...Mike owes for some cereal and stuff as well. [Mental note I am desperately tired of being the automatic teller machine with the money cause it seems it is automatically Tasha's money...yes I stole that from Soul Food but considering how this is about food and we have soul...]
Anywho my friend "jem" was coming over and I have yet to clean or begin cooking.
Yet to clean.
Yet to start cleaning.
Yet to physically wrap my hands around a mop/ broom or garbage bag.
Finally I get home and just am in awe of my house situation (many of clothes have no home to reside in and feel the need to take root on my couch at all times) and the lot of papers that are on the floor in actual need of a filing place is amazing. Well she came over in a tizzy and in order for her to begin to relax she starts to clean and clean she does. We were up to 4 am cleaning/ straightening/ talking/ asthma-attacking cause of the layer of dust I disturbed and then she stayed up past 4 am when my mind/body/soul could take no more --she was cleaning some more. In the morning I awoke to my coffee brewing (I learned how to set the timer on my coffee maker and OOOH weee I love it) and at that time "Jem" got to the kitchen- yes I have a kitchen thank you very much. Hell, once upon a time there used to be many a throw-down in there with good food produced et al. After a few hours of cooking and watching the parade (which is a tradition that I still do) I started to cooking the famous carrot cake with grand mariner, cornbread stuffing, wild rice, brussels, sweet potato pie, hour de vours, etc. It was alot to begin with and then quickly became too much as she cooked a ham, more hours de vours, Mel cooked roast beef and turkey and some sides. Mike made his extra secy cranberry sauce and folks came over to eat. His GF was there (-_-) and TRS came by with some throwback cookies from my childhood (YUMMY) and kiddies from downstairs came thru to grab some food and truly I dad a tremendous blast. My friend D came then & Noc ran thru at the end just to chill...these are times I love the family, definitely miss mommy as she would have had a grand ole time watching us and eating and laughing. My father would have just had everything on point with the cooking and the joyousness that he is.
Sigh...
Something I do is make everyone say what they were thankful for (yeah I know) and really I am thankful for my life- in all that it is and all that I want it to be I am thankful I can do whatever. I am thankful for my family (and all the crazy that it is) my friends (and all the crazy that it is) and the world keeps going...
that's all for now...

buttons

Look I am domesticated!

I actually sewed on these buttons that I finally purchased! (the button on the bottom)

((yes it is only 1 button there))

backstory--> found the dress, it was $32.00 on sale for 50% off (really a good deal) but was missing 3 of 8 buttons. So I got the dress for $10.00 and figured how hard could it be to sew on a few tiny buttons? I mean I am an intelligent chick, self- sufficient, handy and all that jazz, how much should buttons cost? how hard could it be?

Well fast forward a whole season &1/2 (cause I didn't look for buttons last year at all and then shit happened...) suffice it to say dress was still hanging in my closet with the tags still on it.

So finally I decide to just do it and go to some buttony place in NYC to purchase some much needed buttons (guess how much the buttons cost?? $10.00)

keeping tally- dress price was $10.00 has now increased to $20.00...

Then I need to go purchase a needle & thread because who keeps a needle & thread handy? Maybe those women who undoubtedly have various shades of lipstick in their purses to match any of the clothing options of the day, or possibly former girl scouts who have that always be prepared attitude... or women who are just them damn handy dandy women in general.. at the end of the day not I.
(my moms did tho..)

Add another $4.99 for the needle/thread + $5.00 on cupcakes & tea I purchased (to help the process of course)

total dress cost is NOW: $29.99

Then it is time to sew.

I pop in a good sewing movie to get motivated (Pride because I figure I will have pride when I am done with this sewing project) and proceed to sew.

start time: 9:56pm

Attempt to thread needle #1... I can totally see why my mother and Nannie used to call me to thread the needles for them when I was little. Clearly your eyesight + little fingers make for better handling of the needle/thread.
needle threaded & knotted after attempt # 4 (attempt #'s 1,2,3 failed miserably as thread got knotted midway through, then once not at all & I can't even begin to explain what happened after that last one)
15 minutes & 1 button later I declare it is time for a sewing break and must get cupcake for motivation.

break time: 10:21 pm.

after cuppa cake and washing of hands and admiration of handy work on 1 button figured I should sew on the other 7.

resume work: 11:10pm

proceed to sew on 3 more buttons, chat on phone, really intently watch movie concentrating on the form of the swimmers specifically Hakim (Nate Parker)...yummy.

movie ends approximately midnight... just in time for another break and possibly another cupcake +tea.

12:33 am: talk to friend on phone who seriously doubts the sewing aspect of this mission.

12:38 am: Seriously doubt the relationship of this friendship...

12:40 am: re-thread needle & thread (got it on the first time this time! go me!)

resume sewing buttons in earnest: 12:45 am after doing celebratory dance

sew on 1 button & take a potty break at 12:52 am

re-resume sewing on buttons 12:56 am.

decide I need new movie to watch: 12:56:36 seconds.

1:06 am- put in Daddy's little girls (ummm Idris) because hey she is an educated, talented achieving female who I am sure could sew on a button if need be. He is an educated (tho not formally), chocolate, sexy, supportive, decent and loving man who could motivate me to do just about anything (do you want some money baby? how about some chicken wings??) I digress...

watch movie, drool, sew, contemplate another cupcake, decide against that, sew, drool and watch more movie & finally

completion: 1:58 am.

I could take a picture and show you the actual completed button sewing masterpiece but since it is such a personal victory I will leave that to ya'll wonderful imaginations. Suffice it to say that as I was sewing on a total of 8 buttons a few things ran thru my mind:

• I would never be able to work in a sweat-shop cause I would be fired for just plain not being able to thread a needle efficiently.


• Nate & Idris are super sexy & fine- indeed I am in love


• I think I need new glasses


• Chocolate cupcakes (while excellently chocolaty good) DO NOT adequately substitute for...


• hmmm yummy black men


• Them Africans can sew.

  

  While I was in Ghana they whipped up my dress (whole dress not 8 buttons in 24 hours) tailored to my measurements. twenty-four hours; nuff said.

estimated cost to make dress:

you figure about $5.75/hr (min wage?) @ 4hrs= $23.00

grand total of dress= $53.00

Pride in completing project= near priceless!

things we lost in the fire (part II)

last night another fire happened upon Jackson Ave. this time 2 doors down (Mrs. Braithwaite's house) from Grandma's house. flames and fire shooting out the building and while she was getting out her building some debris was falling and got her on the arm. she is currently in the hospital recovering; hopefully not hurt too bad. this fire was a 3 alarm fire that took over 130 firefighters & took almost 2 hours to put out. the building is completely gutted & the 2 buildings attached were compromised via the roof.
See link: http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news/local&id=6628146

we were out there in the cold, my car being blocked by the truck for a bit so we (meaning grandma) could at least sit and be in warmth.
i am fascinated by the where with all & actions of some things:

• i am skeptical about the origins of this fire and our safety.
• this makes me question what are the motives of other folks out there? safety of others?the elderly who all live around there? the kids that go there...
• grandma was out there with her slippers & coat and refusing to take a scarf or a blanket to keep warm (and it was cold)- when she does this and refuses any assistance from me it makes me feel inadequate as a human being & to unable to care for her or whatever for anyone else.
• i got reprimanded for the order of calls made to family. hello i was getting people out, sorry!!!- this also made me feel like hey there cant you do anything right?
• the grab & go case that i have that i didn't even think to grab & go. I just went. no important papers, no nothing other than myself & family. at least mike had the good sense to grab his clean laundry.
  

after an hour outside we got to go back in... back to a smoke smelling filled house to resume our normal lives. is anything every really normal again?

coffee thought

i have a desk in my kitchen.
with a non working computer on it blocking access to the fridge.
this is my new and improved weight loss method.
that's all...

clean house or not...

so i was cleaning up/ re-arranging/ straightening up/ trying to get stuff out of my abode so i can put up my new cafe table from ikea when i have come to the conclusion that i have too much stuff...aka junk.
i need professional help.

as I wait for the water to drain

i am sitting on my floor in my apartment WAITING for the plumber as another flood has happened in my kitchen.
oh didn't i mention?
couple of months ago, came home to the lovely sounds of water overflowing from my sink overflowed into my closet (which is located in the kitchen). yeah several buckets of water later & 3 ruined pairs of boots later (you know i am regretting NOT getting them boot boxes from The Container Store -- next time I will listen to my inner Diva) the plumber came and changed some pipe & viola ok-ness for about 2 months.
WELL fast forward.. and lo and behold it is happening again.
WHY??? WTF?
I am NOT throwing food down the drain in my house or large chunks of anything- Hell the last meal I cooked was Thanksgiving dinner... yeah the woman upstairs has a washing machine (illegal) and no strainer on her sink (meaning every article of food coming from her sink goes down there and clogs up the freakin thing which backs up my sink.)
Yes this is what it is like living in an old apartment building in NYC.
more details soon as I now have to let plumber dude in...

Addiction is...

look at the shoes....

I think I am an addict, and admitting it would be the first step…

Definition: Addict noun a person who is addicted to an activity, habit, substance, or compulsive activity<---I imagine I am that 3rd one; but let me explain why and how…

So in an ongoing attempt to organize my life, and thus in the organization of the creative chaos called my existence; I will achieve some clarity and gain the divine vision that is the purpose of my being enabling me to effectively take over the world…

(Translation: yeah I am trying to straighten up) AGAIN.
At the suggestion of Tanya, she said I could utilize my closet space better by putting some or most of my shoes in these great clear shoe boxes from this place called the container store.

You can see their site at (http://www.containerstore.com/).

With this help even I could get my organization on…
Well as I purchased a case of 20 shoe boxes ($34.00) and thought hmmm is this going to be enough? I mean surely as a woman of a certain age, I have a number of shoes but favor a fair few + as a African-American woman + native New Yorker my MTA commute means I wear sneakers because you never know when you will have to stop, drop and roll, or run to the Bronx as one escapes out of dodge.

just like the boy scouts, I am always prepared, so I could not possibly have that many shoes...
And as I delve deep into the depths of my closet to stopover some of my secrets (oooh who knew that was in here) and visit some of my skeletons (hey how ya'll doing? Long time no see) I seem to have some "choice" footwear that should definitely be retired (is that a penny loafer?), and some others that I truly didn't know I had (hello red ankle strap heels!)

Now as I organize the shoes shoes shoes and take pics of them

(for insurance purposes of course)

I wonder…

at what point is this above and beyond a slight addiction to a full blown problem?

When I had to go back to the container store on Sunday to get another 20 boxes? Or now, when I am contemplating purchasing the boot boxes at $8.00 a box (cause they so pretty)

…hmmm...

I can certainly relate to MY inner Carrie Bradshaw, but my outer Diva is like, "Look trick, the boots can stand all by themselves in the closet" and think about it; the approximately $72 I would save on not purchasing the boot boxes could go towards another shoe. Of course this would then just put me into a vicious circle of going out to procure more shoe boxes (though I could acquire just one at a time…but why?) oh what a tangled web we weave…

To Whom It May Concern:
Two things as I set forth this (_____)THIS ALL into the universe
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
1) Send me some clarity in this existence called life (cause I figure if I straightened up my life a bit, life would open up room for more...)
2) send me a man who will love me for me (and my shoesJ)
just love…

the age of 25

Many, many moons ago when I was a little girl, I thought that at the age of 25 THINGS happen.

What things? (One may ask) well ANYTHING. Like? Sex, drugs, jazz & rock and roll?
Not necessarily in that order…but Life.
Plain and simple.
General “adultness” would happen. So I recall on the eve of my 25th birthday just thinking, "wow, is this what I planned for?"

Let me take you back…

May 22, 2001…
it was a Tuesday evening. Not too hot, not to cold, perfect spring weather.
Where was I? Painting what would become my very first apartment (as of June 1, 2001). I do recall thinking man, I know I have to turn on Con-Edison (gas & electric), think about having a home phone # (because who doesn’t have a home #) and think about actually furnishing this apartment...but overall I had this generally accomplished and almost satisfied feeling.

Almost.

What was missing, I couldn’t quite put my finger on it yet, but I seem to have thought that if I had someone to share this with, it would be better. Better than it currently was (in my mind) which was my first real foray into the single dome of the world. My first place/ space/ something to call my own. I do know that back then, I didn’t fully appreciate what was truly mine, and anticipated what could become an “ours”. <---who was this imaginary person that would share my world, NO CLUE, but I thought I was ready for love.
I also recall on the magical day of May 23rd, nothing really spectacular happened, (besides me being born of course)

I mean I went to work that day, got a few phone calls and cards, but had a generally pleasant day with the family.

Nothing happened.

I also know that because NOTHING happened, I needed to do something to make a change come.

This was the time I cut off my hair.

Back story- child of Island parentage, Mom from NY by way of Jamaica & Grenada, Dad from Bermuda, by way of Bermuda. Apparently, I am one of those with “good hair”. Always long, flowing, curly in the summer, easily straightened in the winter. Can be tamed and wild at the same time. ALWAYS told to keep my hair long, people [read= men] loved longhaired lassies. To cut ones hair made you ugly, and boyish and if you were a girl, then you may as well be a lesbian and call it a moment, so to come to the decision to cut my hair was not an easy one.

But I did, figuring it would be a new me.

A different me, maybe lead to a better me.
What happened?

NOTHING.

A few “Oh’s, that’s cute”. A few “wow, I can’t believe you did that”. One definite “oh my goodness you look so much better with long hair, don’t worry you can always buy a weave.” And another “I loved you with long hair”. I should of had a V-8

Fast-forward a couple of months—9/11/01.

The world changed. Big time.

While everyone around was tying to make sense of it all and trying to put the words together to make it be alright, everyone had the same issues of realizing something bigger than them (right here/right now) is happening. And as stupid as it may seem now, one of the MANY things I realized was the hair (MY HAIR) is just that- dead follicles on my head, no more a definition of me than the pink shirt I wear (on any given day) or the dress I choose to put on the next day.

And with that, I started to write again. Now, you must know that I have always written, contracts, journals, poetry, short stories, so I considered myself to be a writer of sorts. But it seemed that for awhile, I had no voice. I could no longer express anything to anyone. And I stopped putting pen to paper to let it out.

In my apartment, chicken grease was formed.

Chicken grease: a group of poets who are so amazingly talented, it is beyond belief.

Alone, pure fire. Together, unstoppable. Powerful.

This is to my fellow poets…
I realize: we make things happen.
Don’t stop.

keep writing.