coffee thought...horoscope for 9.27.13

Three different horoscopes from three different places makes me think my three (current) personalities need to get it together:

You're often preoccupied by other people's lives. Your devotion to others will be appreciated today, Gemini. For example, in the family circle, you may have to bandage everyone's little physical or psychological wounds. Don't neglect your energy needs. As you're aware, you need all the strength you can muster

Start something new -- or at least restart something that needs some new energy. Your initiative is key to the day's success, so pick something that fires you up and get going

Old memories may return to haunt you today, making it difficult to finalize an important decision. If you feel pushed, unwarranted fears could make a difference now, tilting you toward caution instead of action. But even if you turn down an opportunity, you still might grow restless with your current routine and wish that you said yes. Thankfully, once you acknowledge that there's no single path, it will be easier to accept the one you have chosen. Remember, the journey is the reward.

Everything

Everything.
Happens.
It is surprising (still) to see how the universe brings people together and how small the actual world is.
What brings folks together is shared experiences and life in general and sometimes I am amazed at how random it is and not random at all this all is.
So if you remember last year this time I was preparing to go to St. Thomas USVI to go witness the lovely wedding of my two friends. Well, i mentioned the experience I had flying out from Miami and how there was a service for this fallen police officer. Moving experience.
Fast forward to me training/ part of the expanded role of what I am doing (waiting for the expanded $$ but then I would be waiting forever) and we have interns- one of which I interviewed in March at our higher ed recruitment day. Here we are: 3 weeks into training and he tells me a story about this is coming up on the one year anniversary of his fathers death [no, I don't know how we got on that and no I don't know what it is about that moment that made him share] but he mentioned that his fathers body had to be flown back from Florida to St. Thomas for the funeral. I was like literally getting chills because what a stranger coincidence, right?

 I dig back on my blog and I happened to name the fallen officer-

and sitting right in front of me is his namesake son.

Talk about wow.
Talk about WOW.
So is it a coincidence that I saw that last year and prayed for them all in the way I pray for all those who loose someone (cause I know about that specific loss of a father and a mother first hand)
Is it a coincidence that he applied to NYU and was interviewed and hired by me and now I am training him?

Eh, life has not many coincidences

and is full of happenstance.

This is just one.

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Fun in the park

Carefree and little...

Those were the days...

Sometimes you just gotta have fun. 

Relationships

Relationships 

They are many things. 

Some are about a mutual sharing of information and life goals etc.etc...

Really a basic relationship or friendship involves some level of like, love, maybe attraction (and so many other things...) but think about it- 

if you have not picked up a phone and I have not heard your voice (hello can you hear me now type of way) then what purpose do you have in my life or better yet what purpose do I have in yours?

that's all...

So

So
In the attempt to do something nice
I fell on the steps of the building I live in. Fell hard on my tailbone. There ain't no cushion back there to land on. What the hell.
Really world? I am too damn old for this.



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coffee thought...

coffee thought...

Fall has fallen in to the weather forecast for real today. This would be a perfect day for a hot chocolate and a croissant and some tall boots and a scarf around your neck.
I have the scarf.
The rest of that stuff will have to come to fruition when I have my next paycheck ;)
But a good sweater and a cool jacket and a cup of java will get you in the mood. Have a glorious day!
that's all...

coffee thought...

 

my coffee is close to my heart
..at least I have a heart..

that's all...

 

 

Not invited...

Not invited
So the

So the wonderful lil boy peanuts birthday was 9/11. Which marked many emotions and feelings regarding that day in general but I digress.
Now you know we love a party. We party party party (ala cliff huxtable voice) yet there was no party. Correction there was no party I was invited to. So as most parents do (and as most children's parties are supposed to be) this was a geared for kids. Now- apparently because the venue was not her place and the planning was done by the baby daddy it seems that folks with kids for invited. Makes sense- as it is a kids party and the thought of spending a Saturday with screaming 3 yr olds is not all the way appealing. But considering the way this was handled- because I am childless I am not invited to support and witness and celebrate this child. Cool. Cause apparently the love support and stuff I have done don't get me thru the door. How it was handled pisses me off- cause after asking and lookin and making time for this thing begging for an address of said shindig and then the change of date via text message so really you are not all that concerned. It was like wow ok. I see this. I see the value
I am in your life. I recognize this. I will act accordingly. Trust and believe anything I do I do of choice and the choice can be not to go the extra way. It's easy. It has been done. And truthfully why am I putting myself out of the way? Cause of love. Well love don't have to love here anymore.
The second non invite came from the brother.
Weekend events included a luau and a parade- independent of each other but somehow involving me.
So the brother has a friend from high school that is Hawaiian. We went to her wedding many years back. Excellent time.
Anywho, they have a fall BBQ and typically am invited to. Admittedly I don't go cause usually I have to work or have other plans. Well this year- bro #1 decided not to invite me and look what happens- I end up there.

Life has a funny way of closing one door and opening up others that bring about whole different perspectives. And a little hula dancing to boot!

Coffee thought...

Tonight I ventured out to:
Brooklyn (believe the hype)
I mean it is not that abnormal considering I frequent BK more often than not and annually they celebrate the West Indian day parade every Labor Day (coming this weekend-- going to be chipping down the parkway & dodging bullets at the same time). But this was not for that. This was a social calling with Beks. It had been quite some time since I have seen her (spring time maybe??) and we were long overdue.
That shan't happen again.
Random meeting and viola we were enjoying wine at happy hour which turned into happy 3 hours later LOL. Anywho catching up and figuring out how life is going (her recently graduating and is a real live social worker - not that she hasn't been doing this work for years) and me doing the thing I have been doing for the past decade. DECADE. (do I still find joy...see me when I get a raise and an office AGAIN)
Trips, men's, dates, stuff.
Something she said struck me (as we were chatting about our her pit stop and my permanent residence in single hood)

"people CHOOSE the life they think they deserve. they do not choose the life they want"

Say word. What?
Huh? Come again?
And then when you evaluate the choices folks are making (the jobs some have/some keep in fear of this being the best out there)
Some folks people are with/ stay with/ marry and procreate with out of fear this is the best it gets.
Then there are the choice(s) people make to stay alone, or single because they think they are unloveable and deserve to be alone. Or sometimes people are afraid to want for and go for more and require more in their lives.
Then there are those that just are alone for whatever reason and they think they need to change because being alone is kinda the worst thing in the world
The choices. The consequences. The wash and repeat.
The knowledge of self worth is something more valuable than I could even imagine and something that unfortunately can't (only) be taught. I know my mother and father instilled many things in me. Love and self worth being among them. But something(s) I needed to determine for myself is
At what cost...
At what cost do I decide that I am not settling for this.
At what cost does it take for me to decide to stay alone.
At what cost do I decide that I deserve more
At what cost do I choose different?
Damn--
It's true.
So how about you choose what you want rather than the one you think you deserve.
(if you are lucky what you want will be what you deserve...Idris I am looking at you)
I know I deserve...
So this is what I choose.
...lessons learned at a wine bar in BK
that's all...

coffee thought...

i have a dream...

coffee thought...

Chilling at lunch.

 Currently somewhere in the ocean.

On my way back from a glorious time in Bermuda

and visiting my family.

The trip was muy short but very inclusive-

went to horseshoe beach.

Visited my granny.

 Saw aunts,

 cousins,

uncle,

 more cousins

and went to st. George's and took some pictures.

 I was having such a good time with the family

that we almost missed the boat

(sparkles and I)

  Luckily by God's grace we were the last 2 on and the boat didn't leave us.

Hey- everyone needs an adventure and part of me must have really really wanted to stay.

foot in the pink sand

I always wanted a pic in the telly booth

me & the gombeydancer

<3 p=""> 

Love love love my family ;)

122/74

blood pressure 122/74
I guess that is normal
 Weight XXX

Temp 99

I went to the doctor because of the pain in my left foot which is apparently plantar factious.

They also  apparently want me to stay off my feet for several days and elevate it.

This means no walking, running, hopping, dancing, cavorting, etc.

Unfortunately this is not possible since I am currently working like a crazy person as well as preparing to go on a cruise vacation that I have been looking forward to forever.

And I am supposed to take Advil to reduce the swelling for 10 days.

 

ALL OF THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I EXCERCISE!!!!

AND TRUST ME WHEN I SAY EXCERCISE I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT

INSANITY OR SOMETHING REMOTELY SIMILAR...

 

Apparently my body shuts this shit down in the worst way.

 I can't understand why.

I don't know how.

 But here I am having to drive into work these next couple of days and pay for parking

(like you have the extra $45 to spare + gas $$)

 because I can't do the walk to the bus to the train to the office for the next couple of days.

Maybe I will park tomorrow and try the drive Thursday / Friday depending on the severity of the pain

which like a vicious cycle would put me in more danger of damaging my tendons.

And then not being healed.

I left the doctors office overwhelmingly sad because I am not sure

exactly what I did in this world to 'deserve' this

and the tears of course were coming down my eyes.

I am just tired.

 And stressed.

 And tired.

And limping on the train.

 

Oh- the bright side?

My blood pressure is normal.

Without taking my pill today.

Even tho this right here is stressing me out

 

Oh the bright side #2

A dude just gave me his # in the train.

While I am sitting here looking all evil

and know I have on my

do not fluck with me face.

 He winked at me and told me to call him.

Okkk

 

coffee thought...

Thursday thoughts as I hope there is coffee at the office:
#1: during these busy months they bring in continental breakfast for us. Nice. However most of it is tainted with nut like substances and only 1 pot of coffee. Typically the edible things are picked over by the time I grace them with my presence.

#2- I stayed at work yesterday until 7:30 pm cleaning my desk and organizing evaluations. I have no life.

#3- what does a single gal do for dinner when she spent $160.00 on groceries but didn't cook over the weekend? Strawberry ice cream. With grape nuts cereal sprinkled on top.

#4- counting down the days until my trip {vacation cruise} (7 working days or 9 days in total). I need a vacation.

#5- I need a vacation from these wedding vacations I have been on. Of course that is a wedding involved. No one else better get married until I get a few dates.

#6- it is 8:53 am and I am only in 86th street. Somehow I feel I will miss the free coffee

That's all...


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