coffee thought

No woman no cry...

That was sung by the honorable Bob Marley...

Seems like the universe is trying to tell me that

I shouldn't cry for some of the things out here...

Well for the abundance of things I seem to want to cry for

 I need to do something

What is the something that a girl can do?

SIGH

"Everything is gonna be alright"

"Everything is gonna be alright"

"Everything is gonna be alright"

"Everything is gonna be alright"

IS everything gonna be alright?

 

Sent from my iPhone

funny convo...well funny to me anyway

this is why spellcheck and Siri are so important...

BFTP: dreams and things...

Dreams & things
Current mood: froggy
Category: horny Dreams and the Supernatural

So I know I am going to open myself into a whole heap of questions/ trouble/ "looks of concern" by divulging this but…

Can I just say there is something inherently wrong with me??

Now I know I put on a good look and a great face, have magnificent shoes & and have a hell of a personality (I don't make this shyt up) but really there is something in truth wrong with me, I mean that is the only conclusion I can come up with why… (We will get into that later in) NO, don't get me wrong, I mean I am not talking about "wrong with me" like "oh my goodness, there is something sticking out your side" or, "oh my goodness, I am going to die"(no I don't wish that on anyone including myself) [unless one can die from loneliness and lack of sex ( I may have to google that)] but it is more like, wow tash, for more reasons than one, 1) you are lonely and THAT is blatant, palpable, and truly real…2) for all the morals and stuff I attempt to live by, why oh why are you having sexual dreams & escapades about HIM? (this leads me back to the prior notion that there is something wrong with me…)

I mean really of ALL the folks on this WWW & on Gods green earth WHY would my subconscious consciously wrap myself up with HIM? And not once, not twice, lets just say more than a few times come to mind (no pun intended). And the fact that it is HIM is just WRONG cause well WRONG WRONG WRONG. I mean is it possible that…I mean there are sooo many amazing men I ogle, drool over, fantasize about, and yes admittedly admire like Denzel Washington, Boris Kodjoe, Morris Chestnut, Nate Parker, Dwayne Johnson, Keston Karter and a few Michaels to boot like Michael Jordan, Michael Jai White, and Michael Ealy to name a fair few.  So why does me + rolling around with HIM in bed *multiplied by a number of acrobatic & compromising positi.. shame shame shame…. Oh and another thought, what does that say about me? What does that say about my morals and values? What does this say about my sexuality? What are my dreams/visions trying to tell me that is not coming thru in the daytime? I am so confused and so not in the know. And then who does one ask about this type of thing? All these thoughts and emotions are running thru my head on a nightly basis, which wakes me up as an emotionally drained, tired and horny woman. I am in desperate need some chocolate, and more coffee, hell and some sex…

Currently listening :  I wanna sex you up    Color Me Badd Release date: 17 April, 1991

coffee thought...

8:48 am

Hmmm...

Listening to D'angelo's

"how does it feel"

with a sexy sexy dread

staring at you

is definitely

how all Monday mornings

should start.

Fluck a coffee thought.

that's all...

wink wink

coffee thought...

Preparedness
Who is ever really ready for something to happen?
Who lives in a constant state of this preparedness?
I don't know.
Somehow I think that is like
living on edge as opposed to living on the edge
and waiting constantly for the other shoe to drop.
A stressful life, no?
I think I am ready.
I think I am prepared.
I study, read my notes and then
think
 I am prepared for the lessons life has to offer.
  Then like out of no where-
something that was not in my study guide comes up
and wow I am thrown- for a loop.
On a whim just in general.
I don't know anymore
 (well really I don't know any more than I knew before)
 and that makes me think
Maybe I am not so ready as I thought I was.
Guess I need to put an emergency preparedness kit together
 and keep all important things at arms reach.

that's all...

coffee thought...horoscope for 9.27.13

Three different horoscopes from three different places makes me think my three (current) personalities need to get it together:

You're often preoccupied by other people's lives. Your devotion to others will be appreciated today, Gemini. For example, in the family circle, you may have to bandage everyone's little physical or psychological wounds. Don't neglect your energy needs. As you're aware, you need all the strength you can muster

Start something new -- or at least restart something that needs some new energy. Your initiative is key to the day's success, so pick something that fires you up and get going

Old memories may return to haunt you today, making it difficult to finalize an important decision. If you feel pushed, unwarranted fears could make a difference now, tilting you toward caution instead of action. But even if you turn down an opportunity, you still might grow restless with your current routine and wish that you said yes. Thankfully, once you acknowledge that there's no single path, it will be easier to accept the one you have chosen. Remember, the journey is the reward.

Everything

Everything.
Happens.
It is surprising (still) to see how the universe brings people together and how small the actual world is.
What brings folks together is shared experiences and life in general and sometimes I am amazed at how random it is and not random at all this all is.
So if you remember last year this time I was preparing to go to St. Thomas USVI to go witness the lovely wedding of my two friends. Well, i mentioned the experience I had flying out from Miami and how there was a service for this fallen police officer. Moving experience.
Fast forward to me training/ part of the expanded role of what I am doing (waiting for the expanded $$ but then I would be waiting forever) and we have interns- one of which I interviewed in March at our higher ed recruitment day. Here we are: 3 weeks into training and he tells me a story about this is coming up on the one year anniversary of his fathers death [no, I don't know how we got on that and no I don't know what it is about that moment that made him share] but he mentioned that his fathers body had to be flown back from Florida to St. Thomas for the funeral. I was like literally getting chills because what a stranger coincidence, right?

 I dig back on my blog and I happened to name the fallen officer-

and sitting right in front of me is his namesake son.

Talk about wow.
Talk about WOW.
So is it a coincidence that I saw that last year and prayed for them all in the way I pray for all those who loose someone (cause I know about that specific loss of a father and a mother first hand)
Is it a coincidence that he applied to NYU and was interviewed and hired by me and now I am training him?

Eh, life has not many coincidences

and is full of happenstance.

This is just one.

Sent from my iPhone

Fun in the park

Carefree and little...

Those were the days...

Sometimes you just gotta have fun. 

Relationships

Relationships 

They are many things. 

Some are about a mutual sharing of information and life goals etc.etc...

Really a basic relationship or friendship involves some level of like, love, maybe attraction (and so many other things...) but think about it- 

if you have not picked up a phone and I have not heard your voice (hello can you hear me now type of way) then what purpose do you have in my life or better yet what purpose do I have in yours?

that's all...

So

So
In the attempt to do something nice
I fell on the steps of the building I live in. Fell hard on my tailbone. There ain't no cushion back there to land on. What the hell.
Really world? I am too damn old for this.



Sent from my iPhone

coffee thought...

coffee thought...

Fall has fallen in to the weather forecast for real today. This would be a perfect day for a hot chocolate and a croissant and some tall boots and a scarf around your neck.
I have the scarf.
The rest of that stuff will have to come to fruition when I have my next paycheck ;)
But a good sweater and a cool jacket and a cup of java will get you in the mood. Have a glorious day!
that's all...

coffee thought...

 

my coffee is close to my heart
..at least I have a heart..

that's all...

 

 

Not invited...

Not invited
So the

So the wonderful lil boy peanuts birthday was 9/11. Which marked many emotions and feelings regarding that day in general but I digress.
Now you know we love a party. We party party party (ala cliff huxtable voice) yet there was no party. Correction there was no party I was invited to. So as most parents do (and as most children's parties are supposed to be) this was a geared for kids. Now- apparently because the venue was not her place and the planning was done by the baby daddy it seems that folks with kids for invited. Makes sense- as it is a kids party and the thought of spending a Saturday with screaming 3 yr olds is not all the way appealing. But considering the way this was handled- because I am childless I am not invited to support and witness and celebrate this child. Cool. Cause apparently the love support and stuff I have done don't get me thru the door. How it was handled pisses me off- cause after asking and lookin and making time for this thing begging for an address of said shindig and then the change of date via text message so really you are not all that concerned. It was like wow ok. I see this. I see the value
I am in your life. I recognize this. I will act accordingly. Trust and believe anything I do I do of choice and the choice can be not to go the extra way. It's easy. It has been done. And truthfully why am I putting myself out of the way? Cause of love. Well love don't have to love here anymore.
The second non invite came from the brother.
Weekend events included a luau and a parade- independent of each other but somehow involving me.
So the brother has a friend from high school that is Hawaiian. We went to her wedding many years back. Excellent time.
Anywho, they have a fall BBQ and typically am invited to. Admittedly I don't go cause usually I have to work or have other plans. Well this year- bro #1 decided not to invite me and look what happens- I end up there.

Life has a funny way of closing one door and opening up others that bring about whole different perspectives. And a little hula dancing to boot!