Have

Have you ever been lied to?
Or are you the liar?
Have you ever been betrayed?
Or are you the betrayer?
Have you ever been hurt?
Or do you hurt??

just some random thoughts...

Sent from my iPhone

Black bags

You know what I realize I don't have? I don't have a black bag
Not a black garbage bag, but a plain black leather pocketbook.
I have orange, grey, green, and an assortment of other colors but the black bag eludes me.
Why? What does that say about me? Does it really say anything as one not owning a black bag has yet to be classified as a criminal offense- but seriously why?
Has a suitable black bag eluded me?
Have I not found one that compliments me?
Have I not found one that I could carry just about everyday and still be satisfied with.
Have I looked for one ? That is the question of the day

This is a tricky topic as I figured with the other bags I choose to carry they came to me in my life when I needed and/ or wanted them.
 Like feeling sassy? Orange!
 It's not easy being green- throw on the green bag and show me how it's done.
But these bags 'appeared' when I needed them and I made it work.
Not a black bag!
Have unconsciously shunned the black bags out there in the world!
Does my personality beg for more snazzy than a black bag can give?
Is that my perception of the black bag!
Gasp!
Anywho, am I making too much of it?
You know me, I tend to over think things many things many many things...
Suffice it to say in
ON A SEARCH
For the perfect black bag
For me
Because I don't share
that's all...

Singing some LH today...

 

Let me be patient, let me be kind
Make me unselfish without bein' blind
Though I may suffer, I'll envy it not
And endure what comes,

'cause he's all that I got

And tell him

Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
And it'll be alright

And tell him
Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
It'll be alright

Now I may have faith, to make mountains fall
But if I lack love, then I am nothin' at all
I can give away, everything I possess
But left without love then I have no happiness
I know I'm imperfect (I know I’m imperfect)

and not without sin (and not without sin)
But now that I'm older all childish things end

And tell him

Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
It'll be alright

Tell him
Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
It'll be alright

I'll never be jealous
And I won't be too proud
'Cause love is not boastful
Ooh and love is not loud

Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
Everything is gonna, is gonna be alright
Ooh, ooh, yeah yeah, oh yeah

Now I may have wisdom and knowledge on earth
But if I speak wrong, ooh, then what is it worth?
See what we now know is nothing compared
To the love that was shown when our lives were spared

And tell him

Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
It'll be alright

Tell him
Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
It'll be alright

coffee thougt...horoscope for 10/16/13

some words...

inspiration from the boobies...
 

Watching

This movie one true thing...
And it is about a career NY'er who cuts back/ gives up her career to come home to take care of her cancer stricken mother played by Meryl Streep. One of the prevalent scenes is when the mother is in pain and the daughter finds the heating pad for her. It is a scene that bothers me because the mother does not want to bother the daughter and does not want to share the issues with her. Also the daughter is doing the best that she can with not knowing how to properly care for her cancer stricken mother.
I can relate.
It is still heartbreaking the 'end' is always what sticks out to me and the way things happened- the way they felt- how I was unable to fix it.
And how I felt like (feel like) a failure because of it (while realizing I am not GOD in any way shape or form).
I don't know.
Some days I still think
If things were different
If things were different
If things were different

Coffee thought...

Been on a morning music kick that has truly helped me cope with the commute.
Today's songs include a gospel medley and one of moms favorite songs 'you raise me up' which makes me think about her all the time because truly (as a wonderful mother does) she raises you up to be the best you can be and makes sure you are aware if you potential and makes sure if she don't know she tried...
I am glad I had MY MOTHER.
I got tearey eyed but no tears fell....
Is this progress or is this just the way things are nowadays?

that's all...

coffee thought...

It is 7:41 and I am more productive than I have ever been on a weekday.
I am on the train after I got up at 5:40 (thank you insomnia)
Showered,
did my hair,
outfit together,
made lunch!! (And remembered to bring it to work...)
moved the car,
took out recycling and garbage.
Damn.
I think I am done for the day...and I have not even gotten to work.

coffee thought

No woman no cry...

That was sung by the honorable Bob Marley...

Seems like the universe is trying to tell me that

I shouldn't cry for some of the things out here...

Well for the abundance of things I seem to want to cry for

 I need to do something

What is the something that a girl can do?

SIGH

"Everything is gonna be alright"

"Everything is gonna be alright"

"Everything is gonna be alright"

"Everything is gonna be alright"

IS everything gonna be alright?

 

Sent from my iPhone

funny convo...well funny to me anyway

this is why spellcheck and Siri are so important...

BFTP: dreams and things...

Dreams & things
Current mood: froggy
Category: horny Dreams and the Supernatural

So I know I am going to open myself into a whole heap of questions/ trouble/ "looks of concern" by divulging this but…

Can I just say there is something inherently wrong with me??

Now I know I put on a good look and a great face, have magnificent shoes & and have a hell of a personality (I don't make this shyt up) but really there is something in truth wrong with me, I mean that is the only conclusion I can come up with why… (We will get into that later in) NO, don't get me wrong, I mean I am not talking about "wrong with me" like "oh my goodness, there is something sticking out your side" or, "oh my goodness, I am going to die"(no I don't wish that on anyone including myself) [unless one can die from loneliness and lack of sex ( I may have to google that)] but it is more like, wow tash, for more reasons than one, 1) you are lonely and THAT is blatant, palpable, and truly real…2) for all the morals and stuff I attempt to live by, why oh why are you having sexual dreams & escapades about HIM? (this leads me back to the prior notion that there is something wrong with me…)

I mean really of ALL the folks on this WWW & on Gods green earth WHY would my subconscious consciously wrap myself up with HIM? And not once, not twice, lets just say more than a few times come to mind (no pun intended). And the fact that it is HIM is just WRONG cause well WRONG WRONG WRONG. I mean is it possible that…I mean there are sooo many amazing men I ogle, drool over, fantasize about, and yes admittedly admire like Denzel Washington, Boris Kodjoe, Morris Chestnut, Nate Parker, Dwayne Johnson, Keston Karter and a few Michaels to boot like Michael Jordan, Michael Jai White, and Michael Ealy to name a fair few.  So why does me + rolling around with HIM in bed *multiplied by a number of acrobatic & compromising positi.. shame shame shame…. Oh and another thought, what does that say about me? What does that say about my morals and values? What does this say about my sexuality? What are my dreams/visions trying to tell me that is not coming thru in the daytime? I am so confused and so not in the know. And then who does one ask about this type of thing? All these thoughts and emotions are running thru my head on a nightly basis, which wakes me up as an emotionally drained, tired and horny woman. I am in desperate need some chocolate, and more coffee, hell and some sex…

Currently listening :  I wanna sex you up    Color Me Badd Release date: 17 April, 1991

coffee thought...

8:48 am

Hmmm...

Listening to D'angelo's

"how does it feel"

with a sexy sexy dread

staring at you

is definitely

how all Monday mornings

should start.

Fluck a coffee thought.

that's all...

wink wink

coffee thought...

Preparedness
Who is ever really ready for something to happen?
Who lives in a constant state of this preparedness?
I don't know.
Somehow I think that is like
living on edge as opposed to living on the edge
and waiting constantly for the other shoe to drop.
A stressful life, no?
I think I am ready.
I think I am prepared.
I study, read my notes and then
think
 I am prepared for the lessons life has to offer.
  Then like out of no where-
something that was not in my study guide comes up
and wow I am thrown- for a loop.
On a whim just in general.
I don't know anymore
 (well really I don't know any more than I knew before)
 and that makes me think
Maybe I am not so ready as I thought I was.
Guess I need to put an emergency preparedness kit together
 and keep all important things at arms reach.

that's all...