I just discovered I am a spinster

I just discovered I am a spinster and not in the 'one who spins thread way' either. Apparently I am a spinster in the 'one who is perpetually single well beyond the conventional age of Marrying way.'<- thanks Merriam- Webster.
Or 'a woman who seems unlikely to marry'<- again Webster you are doing me dirty. So I ask myself and the lovely people out there:
What is the conventional age of marrying? *
as of 2007 men 27.7/women 26.0

Great, the U.S. Bureau of the Census is using my lack of liking numbers + the lack of male interaction in my life against me.
So let me get this straight (as I sit here & ponder this) average age of marriage is 26 for women. At 26 I am sure I had trouble committing to a pair of shoes on any given shopping outing, I had trouble committing to any weekend event at various given times (club, bar, lounge, chill) and to which friends I was attending said outings (intellectual types? wild & crazy types? co-workers? family? others<- there were others who are undeniably unclassified.) I definitely had trouble committing myself (ok applying with any real real desire) to furthering my education/career so at at average age of 26 I was supposed to comit myself to ONE MAN IN HOLY MATRIMONY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE???? And this whole marriage thing.- like that is some damned prize (ring, get it?) at the end of the tunnel [the long and treacherous dating world of men, dogs, pigs, snakes and kissing frog-like princes? what is this a freaking animal farm?]
Wow I am so behind the curve here (and here I am looking for a curve, know what I mean?)
I mean here I am trying to get a date, trying to get someone to love men for who I am, trying to get someone just to acknowledge my presence- NOT marry right off the bat. I don't know the first thing about all that- hell sometimes

• I fear I don't even know how to be in relationship with someone (how sad is that).
• I fear I don't know how to love a man
• I fear that a man won't know how to just love me.
• I fear I don't know how to be with a man
• I fear sex. Fear that I would do something wrong, in any and all aspects of it. I fear I don't know how to kiss, how to touch, how to be touched or whatever (therapy says I am just lost in actual practice, one can hope?)

anywho, enough about the marriage, let's talk about:

Divorce.

(cause you can't have one without the possibility of the other, no?)

So I ask myself this question:
What is the average divorce rate in America?
The answers I get are staggering based on the age of marriage:
Age at marriage for those who divorce in America

Age	Women	Men
Under 20 years old	27.6%	11.7%
20 to 24 years old	36.6%	38.8%
25 to 29 years old	16.4%	22.3%
30 to 34 years old	8.5%	11.6%
35 to 39 years old	5.1%	6.5%

so check that out-- had I been married at the 'ripe ole age of 26' the possibility of me getting a divorce was approximately 16.4%.

hope, right?

well, not so fast as i goggled:

What is the average age a person meets their spouse? (no real answers came up but what i did score was interesting:)

With "Gen X" individuals (labeled between 28-39) the most popular way to meet people is through work, at 19%. Following are through friends (18%),through school (14%), social activities with friends (8%), and via a club/bar 6%. Dating services come in dead last at less than 1%. So much for eharmonymatch.com

Where does that leave me?

All confused about my status and about my place/ space in this world. It leaves me thinking about the future and about my past transgressions (a.k.a choices) that lead me right here to this very spot I am sitting in. Then of course a few weeks ago when I started to compose this blog {ok damn near a month ago} this wonderful <--insert sarcasm article comes out on Why I am not Married by Ms. Tracey McMillian via the Huffington post and it blew my mind. Literally got me all riled up. I had so many things to say, respond to about the circumstances that surrounded the place where I am at-- not because I am a shallow-slutty-lying-selfish-not good enough-bitch. [because one thing I did find out about this article is that while she did accomplish marriage(3 times), she accomplished at least 2 divorces as well.

anywho, anyone know how to work a loom?