9/11

I am watching and I remember
I remember the pain
The planes
The smoke
The fear
The uncertainty
The flames

I remember the sounds
The sirens
The struggle to make it out
The prejudice
The people
The people

Running
The towers falling
Scattered lives
One by one
People jumping
The ashes

I remember the feelings of how
Why
Who?
Who could do this to us?
To US
USA

The heroism
The fight
The bravery
The tears
The remembrances
The prayers
The hope for us all
For US All

Now
America
Changes…

things we lost in the fire...

Last night as I was on the train reading this book motherless daughters by Hope Edelman and feeling all sorts of ways continually going thru this grieving process, in the midst of trying to figure out what to have for dinner and hoping that my car is on the right side of the street for NY alternate side parking rules, I get this phone call as I get out the subway station:

“Tash, there is a fire at the neighbors house, it is everywhere!!!
The neighbor’s house is completely gone!!!
They have evacuated the buildings grandma is outside here, everyone is outside, and no one is allowed back inside.
They have 3 trucks battling the blaze so I just wanted to let you know”

Yes this is the message I get from the brother as I get off the train already an emotional wreck (in his defense I am sure he didn’t know I was an emotional wreck already)

As my heart is racing and my eyesight is blurry and my hands are shaking and various crazy thoughts are racing thru my head (see: panic attacks) and I just had to pray.
As I got on the MTA (that is never going my way) it seemed as everything was moving in extra slow motion.
Like I know it typically takes 20 minutes to get home from train to door- but it seemed like an eternity and we appeared to catch every red light.
The bus was unusually cold, but I felt nothing (I know it was cold due to the complaints of the passengers on the bus).
Got off the bus to the throngs of people, mass of fire trucks (at least 12) and just the craziness of seeing it all were truly frightening.

Just thinking about the possibility of being without a place to live…

Everyone in that building is OK. Very distraught about the loss of everything, but thankfully their lives were ok.

I watched the end result of this:

• The news camera trying to get a glimpse of the persons who were clearly upset about their homes, possessions, safety and security all gone. The foolish kids being kids trying to get on camera, jumping around and thinking it is cool.
• My grandmother, who was born in Chicago, has this great fear/respect for fire sneaking back into the house, her comfort zone.
• People who lived on this block for 2 or more years finally being neighborly with each other.
• A few firefighters injured due to the breaking out of windows and smoke inhalation, but thankfully they will be ok.
• Weary firefighters doing a job they love to benefit and save others, I thanked them in person while I could think about it.

and thru all this

I thank God.

coffee thought...

Given enough coffee, I could rule the world. ~Author Unknown

innovative...?

so as part of my job, i assist students in their pursuit of Higher Education, which is a very interesting form of employment in itself.. but what is innovative about today is there is an article in the NY Times about this student and his need for $$ to go to school. Yes, it is an actual solicitation for $$ for school, while innovative and bears in mind the ask and you shall receive mantra..
ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
This is almost right up there with the all too familiar "you need to help me since i am an African prince and need you to hold $20 million dollars. just send me your bank account info, etc etc..."
i am not to sure how to feel about this.
On the one hand, University is expensive. Plain and simple, it costs alot of money to attend a great institution of Higher Education. I truly believe in the value of a great education, and that cannot be replaced by anything.
On the other hand, cost of education and affordability is a reality. This is something that is not hidden during the application process at all. I mean one truly knows on the outset (when purchasing a car) that it costs upwards of $50,000 for a Lexus and deciding to get into one is YOUR CHOICE... Just like there are other schools/vehicles that will get you to your destination in life, there are other ways of making it work.
I also believe that while you get what you pay for, the cost doesn't make it everything. Just cause you pay $50 for a piece of chocolate, does not make it any better than a Hershey's Kiss.
I dunno, maybe I am biased because I worked DAMNED hard for my education and am STILL paying for it while i am in service to others...
Something has got to give...

coffee thought...

no coffee today.

you can imagine the reactions of the persons around me...

that's all...

& the winner is...

5 months to the day of Mom's passing...

I went with the Lotus flower cause it seems fitting.

possible tattoos...

yeah i have 4 main pics i am working with

<-- Lotus flower

Indian lotus flowerAccording to the Indian culture the lotus flower denotes prosperity knowledge and learning, fruitfulness and illumination. According to the Hindu mythology, the lotus flower is associated with Goddess Lakshmi, the goddess of wisdom and generosity. She is often portrayed as sitting on a completely blossomed lotus that gives a sense of purity to her form.

Eastern lotus flowerThe Lotus flower is viewed as a representation of spirituality according to the eastern culture. The lotus flower is often viewed as a symbol of aspirations to rise towards the light as the roots of the lotus flower has its roots in the mud but it grows in the upward direction.

Egyptian lotus flowerAccording to the Egyptian culture the lotus flower symbol was known by the name of 'Sesan'. As per the mythology of Egypt the lotus flower symbolized the sun as well as formation and revival.

Christian lotus flowerThe lotus flower is a representation of piousness and fertility. The lily flower in the Christian culture basically replaces the lotus flower. The lily flower according to the Christian culture is associated with Mary who is known as the queen of heaven. The lotus flower basically represents holiness, good wishes, purity and positive energy.

The Lotus flower basically symbolizes the clarity of heart as well as the mind. In other words the Lotus flower represents strength, good luck, long life as well as honor and respect. Some scholars have even talked of the lotus flower being a universal representation of the spiritual presence in human lives.

As the lotus flower grows up from the mud into a object of great beauty people also grow and change into something more beautiful (hopefully!). So the symbol represent the struggle of life at its most basic form.

<--Ohm

The three "mantras" of A, U, M (pronounced Ohm)also represent the outer, the inner and the superconscient states of consciousness and the waking, dream and deep sleep states respectively. And beyond these is the modeless fourth state (a-matra), which is the Self, according to Advaiata. Another way of saying this is that Om is immortal and inexhaustible. It is the symbolic expression of the creative spirit, the Word (with reference to the three component sounds), the three human conditions (waking, dreaming, and deep sleep), the three times of day (morning, midday, evening), and the three faculties (action, cognition, volition

<---Gerber Daisy

The meanings of gerbera daisies stem from those attributed to the general daisy family. These meanings include innocence and purity, and daisies are also a classic symbol of beauty. However, the gerbera variety holds an added meaning of cheerfulness

what do you think???

poem of the day...

HAPLOLOGY

Us
Through it all
I listened when you called
And once in a while
I made you smile
I probably even made you cry
By telling you them little white lies
But hey, that's what made my days worthwhile
And
I probably would not be saying this
Had it not been true
But you'll probably call her baby
Once we are done and through…

coffee thought...

America... listen up.

Do something about it.

It is time for CHANGE.

W cannot wait...

that's all...

sometimes it isn't enough

sometimes it isn't enough to want to do something bad enough, and crave that something bad enough, and think about it, and try for it, and just...
sometimes even though i am willingly willing to just let this world, this being, this whatever take on this natural undefined indefined course i just...
sometimes it is just not enough
i am just not enough

Labor Day 2008

HEYYYY!!!

today we celebrated Labor Day 2008- a day off (according to Wiki) for working class citizens....

well in addittion to that, today is the Labor Day West Indian Parade in Brooklyn NY, one of the largest most colorful and amazing parades to witness. Trust me, this rivals any other NYC parade or carinival in the caribbean.

Here are some pics for your viewing pleasure...

night on the town

well not necessarily the whole town, but out in Williamsburgh, BK. greg (Tanya's man) had a show- he is a up and coming rapper & the music was fantastico.

here are some pics documenting the evening...

it is late now, tomorrow is a cleaning day...just love

coffee thought...

it is coffee in HD (high definition)!!!

no, not expresso or anything like that...

it is just my coffee is extra potient and ummm ummm good!

that's all...