contacts

contacts
right now i am in a mood. i am feeling distraught, despondent and depressed. i am overcome with sadness remembering my mother and just some of the things leading up to her final days. i know i should focus on the good times but all of these experiences happened, i cant ignore it and pretend it didn't happen. i need to talk to someone, i want to reach out to somebody because i know i need to talk to someone
and out of all the contacts in my phone there is absolutely no one i can call at 1 am with my madness. isn't that insane? there is no one in this world that i can call to bring me from the edge; no one i can cry to and certainly no one to call (physically) this lovely hour- because yes i have already called on the Lord to comfort me right now.
so what is the point? i need to re-evaluate my contacts