why do i try?

trick or treat??
more like the joke is on me ALL THE DAMN TIME. today got word on the management position that i applied for a month ago. guess who is just not good enough again? guess who got the job? my good friend DNS (who i happen to send in the resume for and cover letter/ same one who got promoted over me for sr.csr of something else)
YES i am happy and estatic for her, i just feel slighted every damn time.
WHEN THE FUCK AM I GONNA CATCH A BREAK?
i mean i work hard, do right, live justly and play fair and what am i doing wrong in that equation?
someone send me a clue...no actually don't send me a clue and just give me the answer cause surely i cant figure it out.

things to do @ work...

things to do @ work...

clean my desk?-->

or paint my nails...

as you can see the nails won out...

Columbus' Discovery

well kinda sorta...

so last week i took Columbus holiday off work NOT to celebrate his infamous "discovery"of a new land..but more so to try & "discover" some new money in Atlantic City, NJ.

We (grandma, Big Mike & I) took a bus trip from in front of my old stomping grounds/ grammar school of St. Augustine School (it used to be called St. Augustine School of the Arts or SASA but there is a looong story that I will have to get to sometime..)
this is the ONLY place grandma will venture to... via bus with the other old ladies. This is her variation of a 'spa day'

at any rate, leaving my house early in the morning and traveling the 2 blocks to this school was like a surreal blast from the past...having not made that particular trip at that particular time in the AM in quite a # of years it was a blast from the past...As i turned the corner to SASA i felt i was 12 again and running late (*I was)
but yeah hopped on the bus, took a seat and promptly fell asleep.
2 hrs later, viola AC here I am & I am ready to go!
suffice it to say i didn't hit it big... the most i got was $100.00 but hey it was a fun day!

illegal pics of us gambing at the machines

poem of the day...

moon- 11:13--11:19

awakened while sleeping or am i dreaming?
i have been having these visions of things
that wake me up in the night...
nothing bad,
but usually about 3:20 am my mind says 'time'
and thru my closed lids, the moon speaks a soft hello.
now normally this would not bother me
except that time Denzel was about to marry me.
or there was that other time when he told me he loved me
& wanted to stop the wedding
oh & then there was that time
i was driving my own jeep truck
& then there was the time
that i was watching Nocturnal _ _ _ _
woah, whew
thank god for the moon
i guess i'll close my eyes again,
dont worry i'll be awake soon.

chicken grease

coffee thought...

i am sick today which means there are no thoughts of coffee or anything else.
well, that's not entirely true- there are thoughts of vicks vapor rub & a certain someone (we'll leave that up to your incredible imaginations)
that's all

coffee thought...

is my coffee 1/2 full or 1/2 empty??

either way... i know a second cup is in order STAT!

that's all...

You know what I miss?

I miss the comfort of her knowledge and the prescence of her being here.
I miss the watering of the plants in my apartment & turkey bacon on our way out in the mornings.
I miss things I never knew that only she could teach.
i will always miss my mommy

coffee thought...

it's been awhile...but today's small cup of java
(yes i said small) is just OK...
plain and boring and barely adequate...

kind of like palin in the debate last night, only this is easier to swallow.

that's all...