I would...

I would just like to let you know there is a grandma for sale (cheap too). She just called to tell me 'our bowling shoes arrived' I asked her how she know they were bowling shoes- [side note: I ordered bowling shoes since I typically go bowling about 4 times a year and am really skeeved about putting my feet into some random shoes - hasn't anyone heard of foot & mouth disease?- and at aproximately $6.00/ per time I would like to experience such risky behavior I decided to forgo all that and bite the bullet and buy a pair. Shoes + shipping + piece of mind if i remember to bring them with me bowling = $36.00 not that i need to justify another shoe purchase but i digress..]  all that to say Grandma opened the box. Told her that was a federal offense she said so sue me! I ask her what if it was something else- she said LIKE AN EXOTiC TOY?? I am soo done- because what would grandmas know about exotic toys and she really needs to stop watching so much reality TV.