Good for staying home and trying to relax and write some words.
Alas I don't have that lifestyle and have to head off to work.
Again I am thankful that I have a job am employed and able to make a difference (?) but some days it is something else.
Today is something else
Something akin to my mothers birthday.
Had she prevailed against the vicious cancer beast she would have been 61 years old. I had cake in her honor, and not that I ever need a reason to have cake but clearly I needed some chocolate in my life I - so i had a cupcake. I vented with one of my good friends (DNS) about workplace issues and the stress of management- mind you we are management and therefore are stressing ourselves as much as being stressed by the upper echelon & employees alike...but the cake and the comaridrie helped.
Ummm... it is weird but I like how people say 'late' as in 'my mother is late'. [Do people say that? Am I the only one? I know I have heard it before and spoke it before but maybe I am making it up...oh well] Defined as a way of speaking about ones life (i.e she is no longer living) this does not diminish the very life that she has had-- and she is still my mother so technically physically her presence is late but her essence is very much ontime all the time...(more times that I continue to need and then them times I pretend not to need)
What did I want to say?
That I still miss my mother more than before as I am navigating the everyday perils of the world?
That I am forever grateful of the great life lessons she taught me and that I can readily recall?
That I remember the love that she continually showed us/ me in this world even when faced with her outcome?
I dont know what to say or what I wanted to say on this other than the rain makes me think alot about things that I cant change and things of the past that are what they are and trying to recall it all.
Happy Birthday Mom, I miss ya still.
1 comment:
hey honey. thinking of you and your moms. be well. see you soon.
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